Example: “Mr. Smith in the ICU, room 17, is a train wreck. He has metastatic cancer and advanced renal disease. He was getting dialysis yesterday when he suffered a heart attack and then went into respiratory failure. He’s on a ventilator now, and has developed sepsis.”
Anyway
One day back in residency we were doing our usual morning rounds, presenting cases to the attending. My friend Zack was telling him about a guy he'd admitted the previous night.
Zack: “Okay, the next one, in ICU room 7, is a train wreck. He…”
Dr. Proper: “NEVER SAY THINGS LIKE THAT! Patients are people, and I don’t want to hear slang! Present the case to me in medical terms."
Zack: “I'm sorry, but I mean…"
Dr. Proper: “STOP! Let’s try this again. Why is the man in room 7 in the hospital?”
Zack: “Um, he was driving his car and was hit by a train."
***Snork!!***
ReplyDeleteHe could had said the patient experienced a sudden de-acceleration involving a motor vehicle and a train,resulting in blunt force truma.
ReplyDeleteI actually DID laugh out loud that time. I do feel bad for the patient, though.
ReplyDeleteLike bobbie, I am sniggering, but have to agree with Dr. Proper.
ReplyDeletesometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
ReplyDelete"And his name actually is Gomer."
ReplyDelete"It was a prophylactic-related injury to the anus sustained during sexual activity, which is why I said the patient was a fucking scumbag asshole."
ReplyDeleteBack in the day, more than1600 days agon now, one the post take ward round, the attending says to the distinctly non-coping gentleman, admitted for the umpteenth time with a minor overdose -"you really have to learn to stand on your own two feet". Resident - "Um, sir, that's his artificial leg under the bed"... Happy days.
ReplyDeleteWe use the phrase 'hot mess' for folks with everything going wrong.
ReplyDeleteMy neurology staff was treating a migraine headache with IV morphine. I was called to assess for difficulty breathing. I stopped the morphine and replaced it with appropriate migraine meds. My staff yelled at me for that, in front of all the nurses. I don’t remember what the reason for morphine was...
ReplyDelete