I get it. You didn't want to do it, but you're in training, and your chairman made you write up something embarrassingly bad in order to graduate. BTDT.
Last week, some of the biggest names in Parkinson's disease (besides James Parkinson) gathered in Vancouver, BC, for a conference.
One of my colleagues there noticed this poster hanging in the meeting's research hall:
To summarize:
Earthquakes are bad. Having Parkinson's disease, AND being in an earthquake, is worse.
The bigger the earthquake, the greater the effect will be on a Parkinson's patient.
Their symptoms will get worse in the immediate aftermath of the quake, but gradually return to baseline as things settle down.
Thank you, SMOD!
Groundbreaking research.
ReplyDeleteInsert Homer-esque "DOH!" here...
ReplyDeleteYour tax dollars at work.
Welcome back! Can't wait to hear about your adventures!!
I always told my graduate students and colleagues to ask: "What is the most important result we might get from this study?" (Consider only reasonably likely results, not wildly unexpected ones.) If the answer is, "Nothing very interesting," don't do the study.
ReplyDeleteIt's a lot like not doing a medical test if the result won't change the treatment.
Ok, stretch your mind for a moment.
ReplyDeleteWe have matter, and anti-matter. What if there are "reverse earthquakes" which is some weird opposite of an earthquake.
Further suppose, then, that a Parkinson's patient encounters a "reverse earthquake"? Will the patient be momentarily cured as the two forces cancel each other out?
I must research this. May I have a $5 million grant from the government to look into this?
So idiocy can be found in every aspect of professional life. Got it.
ReplyDeleteGrantabuse is a Dx methinks. But what if your Parkinson's Patient was wearing red pants? Would it be different than if they were wearing jeans. Quick, write up a study...
ReplyDeleteWell, to be pedantic...
ReplyDeletethere are the studies that seem worthless because they're covering seemingly "That's obvious" topics, which actually have a place in science. Just because people think it's obvious doesn't mean it's proved. A lot of "Old Wives' Tales have been disproved this way. Plus, if you want to publish and start with "As we all know, X=Y, you better be able to list paper(s) that show that X=Y.
On the other hand, there's just outright bunk. This is bunk.
Correlation is still not causation. The rise in autism diagnoses aligns with the increase in people buying organic foods!
This guy is well on his way to a Nobel Prize (insert sarcasm here).
ReplyDeleteMoose at 8:03...
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point. It's silly to think that autism and organic foods are related. We ALL know that autism is caused by Peppa Pig.
Abstract: studies have found that free conference trips from Japan to Vancouver in June potentially have many desirable effects, including cooler weather, lots of frequent flier miles, legal weed, and the possibility of random drunken hookups with colleagues.
ReplyDeleteThat must have been some pretty expensive experimental apparatus.
ReplyDelete"Correlation is still not causation. The rise in autism diagnoses aligns with the increase in people buying organic foods!"
ReplyDeleteAmen!
Also aligns with the increase in use of pre natal vitamins, use of ultrasound, fewer leaded gasoline burning vehicles, cassette tapes, 8 track tapes, etc...
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=whole+lot+of+shaking+going+on&qpvt=whole+lot+of+shaking+going+on&FORM=VDRE
ReplyDeleteAnd that is the way is shakes out.
So they're saying that tremors cause tremors....
ReplyDeleteI once found research saying residents of nursing homes were aware of other resident's deaths.
ReplyDeleteEven worse, I then quoted this research in my own paper.
Having been at said conference (and Vancouver in June is *very* lovely), I regret not seeing this poster - but I did see many others that were even worse!
ReplyDeleteThere is an Earthquakes and PD Study Group?? Honestly, I'm most impressed that 91.9% of patients reported they could take their meds as usual. I can't get 91.9% of my non-earthquake patients to stick to a schedule!
ReplyDelete