My office parking is okay. Not great, not horrible. Generally anyone can find a space, but they may have to park farther than they like (we do have plenty of handicapped spots).
I have one patient, Mr. Thuesen-Hale, who perennially complains about it. It's almost Seinfeldian, were it not for him being so enraged. Mary even gave him a list of neurologists who might have a better office lot than I do, to no avail.
So at his appointment last week, he showed up with a bunch of papers. They looked like forms for work.
Dr. Grumpy: "Any other questions?"
Mr. Thuesen-Hale: "Yes, I have this for you."
Dr. Grumpy: "Is it for your job?"
Mr. Thuesen-Hale: "No, it's a parking ticket."
Dr. Grumpy: "A parking ticket?"
Mr. Thuesen-Hale: "Yes. Because of your crappy parking here I got a ticket last time for being on the street. So it's your responsibility to pay it." (shoves papers at me)
Dr. Grumpy: (not reaching for them) "I'm sorry you got a ticket, but I'm not going to pay it."
Mr. Thuesen-Hale: "That's unacceptable. You chose to rent in this building, so it's your problem. PAY IT!"
Dr. Grumpy: "I'm not going to do that."
Mr. Thuesen-Hale: "Look, if you don't pay it I'm not coming back!"
It's funny how some people think that's a threat.
Accept his offer to invite himself to the world.
ReplyDelete"Promise?"
ReplyDelete"You chose to rent in a building I had to drive to, so my DUI is your problem."
ReplyDeleteThanks for a nice laugh. Next he will file a suit against you for the tickets. The Court should get a good laugh too.
ReplyDelete"You chose to rent in a building that's only 14 miles away from the motel where all the she-male hookers hang out, so my divorce is your problem."
ReplyDelete"If you hadn't prescribed that Nomig for me, I would never have been able to make that meeting with the undercover FBI agent, so my life sentence in Guantanamo is your problem."
ReplyDeleteYou chose to rent a building far from where I live, so my car payment is your problem.
ReplyDeleteMy response to his last line would have been "Go ahead. Make my day." But I suppose that this line (both it and its Eastwoodian connotations) would have been in violation of the Hippocratic Oath.
ReplyDelete"Don't let the door hit ya' where the good lord split ya'"
ReplyDeleteright up there with the kids saying "I'm mad at you! I'm not going to talk to you anymore!" and stomping off to their rooms. Kid does that, we try to restrain the cheering. lest she come back.
ReplyDeleteI'm a lawyer and started my career as a city prosecutor handling things like drunk driving, bar fights and even prosecuting parking tickets. Later I was a court appointed defense lawyer.
ReplyDeleteOver the years I've prosecuted or defended people on everything from shoplifting to murder...and, without exception, the angriest I've ever seen people is over parking tickets!
"And if the meter maid hadn't been so damn cute, I wouldn't have felt the need to jerk off in my car. So my being placed on the sex offender registry is your problem."
ReplyDeleteWas that the bat-signal to Mary to cancel any future appointments?
ReplyDelete"Patient discharged due to unmet transportation demands"
Love the comments. I would have taken the ticket, let hime go on his way, ripped it up on the hope that he would later get picked up on a warrant for unpaid ticket. If I were an evil devious person. rjs is right, I have people want to fight speeding tickes 85 dollar fine, I have had people want to fight 20 parking tickets, It is the principal of the thing. So when told how much the legal fee is their ire moves from the ticket to , yup the lawyer. Principal cost money.
ReplyDeleteGrumpy you need to get with the times. Hire a waiting room barista and valet service for your patients.
ReplyDeleteWhat about a drive thru?!
ReplyDelete