Monday, January 9, 2017

Hospital rounds

Dr. Grumpy: "When did this start?"

Mr. Son: "Around 2:30. She suddenly slumped over to her right, and couldn't talk."

Dr. Grumpy: "That's when you called 911?"

Mr. Son: "No, my wife and I helped her to a bench outside the store."

Dr. Grumpy: "When did you call paramedics?"

Mr. Son: "After I finished returning all the shitty Christmas gifts. You wouldn't believe how long the line was."
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14 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2017 at 7:25 AM

    You made this one up, didn't you. didn't you????? You didn't!!! OMG

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tarquin "R.J." Toffeebridge VJanuary 9, 2017 at 9:50 AM

    "And then it took fucking forever to get her to tell me where the receipt was."

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2017 at 9:56 AM

    "Hey, it's not like she had to wait anywhere near as long as my dad did on Black Friday."

    ReplyDelete
  4. PackerJanuary 9, 2017 at 11:31 AM

    Happy New Year, nice little story about the cute rescue dogs. Bet this little encounter made you ecstatic to be back to work.
    For me, I think I am just gonna slink off to the bunker because we are doomed.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2017 at 12:02 PM

    "And why did everyone get me a McDonald's gift certificate this year anyway?"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ms. DonnaJanuary 9, 2017 at 12:51 PM

    Aaaaaaand he's back, trailing the POS family members along.

    Kudos to you for not knocking Mr. Son out.

    ReplyDelete
  7. a.generic docJanuary 9, 2017 at 1:38 PM

    At least they helped her out to the bench instead of keeping her propped up in the line with them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2017 at 11:40 PM

    eh, non professionals can do crazy things some times. I am sure my mechanic thinks the same about me "You drove it after it did WHAT"

    It is when they have training that becomes unforgivable. Looking at you Local Nursing Home.

    ReplyDelete
  9. A. MarieJanuary 10, 2017 at 6:37 PM

    I'd say, "WTF, is Doc G kidding?"--but I know you're probably not. Which is an even more frightening thought.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2017 at 11:02 PM

    "And the line was so slow because apparently these days nobody can return a fucking gift without tweeting about it too. By the time I was finally done, i was so pissed off I had to write a long blog post about it right away to vent. But then I called the paramedics as soon as I could."

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2017 at 11:44 PM

    "Anyway, it didn't take anywhere near as long as last year."

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJanuary 11, 2017 at 12:09 AM

    "And then it became a big mess when it turned out that I'd accidentally returned the set of plates we made from dad's ashes."

    ReplyDelete
  13. UnknownJanuary 11, 2017 at 12:31 PM

    I wish you had made this up. The degree of depravity that the son displayed deserves criminal prosecution. I took care of my dad and he was a PITA but I also stood by him in preop waiting to fix his broken hip. Just makes me incredibly sad and angry.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2017 at 4:03 PM

    But was the line at least shorter than the tPA window?

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?