Friday, December 9, 2016

Gift guide

Life is full of tough decisions, especially when you have $85 to blow. What should you spend it on?

Like most people, you're probably thinking "if only there was a decent rock in a leather half-pouch I can get for only $85, but I can't find one."

Fortunately, Nordstrom has heard your cries, and is now selling exactly that: a solid rock, found somewhere in the Los Angeles area, and lovingly sewn into a leather case.

 
"You're shitting me, right?"

Order it here. The possibilities are endless! You (or the lucky recipient) can use this $85-rock-in-a-half-leather-case as a paperweight, doorstop, or artistic commentary on sado-masochism's relationship to classical philosophy's effects on the fabric of human relationships.

And, best of all, when someone asks "What did you get for Christmakuh?" You can say...





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14 comments:

  1. PackerDecember 9, 2016 at 9:56 AM

    35 years ago when we married, my wife and I said that if we ever had $100.00 to just blow we would go to Atlantic City and hit a casino. Tuition, mortgages, braces, hot water heaters, brake jobs , etc and we have never set foot in Atlantic City.

    I am buying that freaking rock

    ReplyDelete
  2. tbunniDecember 9, 2016 at 11:17 AM

    I don't think I can support the 'lovingly stitched' as it was obviously done on a machine. I mean, for $85.00 I expect hand stitching - it is more spiritual and meaningful and connects us further with the land and whatever poor animal died to give us that leather...

    ReplyDelete
  3. MageDecember 9, 2016 at 11:33 AM

    They have baby rocks too. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  4. bobbieDecember 9, 2016 at 11:41 AM

    Alas & alack... they are all sold out. And I had $85 just burning a hole in my pocket!

    Love your tweet to I. D. ~ I had noticed the birthday in our paper this AM.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 9, 2016 at 2:51 PM

    So, is it an artisan rock?

    ReplyDelete
  6. KassyDecember 9, 2016 at 4:08 PM

    Forget the rock. How about the $1200 cloud(2x3x3.5in and weighs 2lbs made of brass I think)!?!??!!!
    It's on the same page.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yoko DrānoDecember 9, 2016 at 4:40 PM


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRwrg0db_zY

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownDecember 9, 2016 at 8:03 PM

    Everyone here is too young to remember the "Pet Rock" from the '70's? Nothing is original anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousDecember 10, 2016 at 12:19 PM

    Awesome! I want one, I need one! In fact I need five in a hand-crafted bandolier to go with my sling, to take down a philistine a-hole or two...

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousDecember 10, 2016 at 6:56 PM

    Not so young, I do recall the 'pet rock' with googly eyes I was given while a patient in the hospital lovingly painted green by kids in my high school youth group (Honor Society).

    ReplyDelete
  11. MooseDecember 11, 2016 at 8:48 PM

    I use "I got a rock" for everything.

    "I have a cold." "I have bad allergies." "I got a rock."

    "I brought some Pepsi." "I'll get some Coke." "I got a rock."

    "I've got this box. You grab the bag. Moose, what do you have?" "I got a rock."

    It's an all-purpose answer. Charlie Brown would approve!

    ReplyDelete
  12. MooseDecember 11, 2016 at 8:51 PM

    Also, I cannot believe you didn't bring up the Pet Rock, which is now back! http://www.petrock.com/ (Though their website is misconfigured...)

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousDecember 12, 2016 at 12:15 AM

    I can think of a lot of people who desperately need to obtain some stones in skin pouches.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousDecember 12, 2016 at 12:17 AM

    Or you can just buy a cheap knockoff on Canal Street.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?