Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Pinocchio

One of my patients was at the lab to have her blood drawn, and the lab called me to say that she could barely walk and kept falling. I had them send her to ER, and then went to see her.


Dr. Grumpy: "Your head CT was okay, but the seizure medication blood level was WAY too high. Have you been taking it correctly?"

Mrs. Ataxia: "Um... Well, this morning I took a triple dose."

Dr. Grumpy: "Why on Earth did you do that?"

Mrs. Ataxia: "Because I was going to get my blood level drawn, and didn't want you to think I hadn't been taking it."

Dr. Grumpy: "Had you been taking it?"

Mrs. Ataxia: "Yes."

Dr. Grumpy: "Really?"

Mrs. Ataxia: "Uh... maybe... here and there."

Dr. Grumpy: "Overdoing it just before you get the labs drawn won't make up for that."

Mrs. Ataxia: "Sometimes it works at the dentist's."
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14 comments:

  1. Officer CynicalAugust 17, 2016 at 5:59 AM

    Lucky you weren't doing a stool analysis.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 17, 2016 at 7:42 AM

    Two things you can be sure of, if you take too much seizure medicine: a-death and a-taxia

    ReplyDelete
  3. LizAugust 17, 2016 at 7:46 AM

    Reminds me of the Labrador owner who only gave the dog her thyroid medication once a day because the prescribed twice a day dose "makes her hyper". No, it makes her normal.

    ReplyDelete
  4. bobbieAugust 17, 2016 at 11:20 AM

    Yikes!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousAugust 17, 2016 at 12:12 PM

    It's what political candidates call a "pivot."

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yoko DrānoAugust 17, 2016 at 12:15 PM

    "I learned it from one of those life-hacking websites. If you just brush your teeth three or four times right before you go to the dentist, you don't have to brush them at all for the six months before that."

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousAugust 17, 2016 at 12:34 PM

    "After reading Marie Kondo's book, I went through all my prescription medications and threw out the ones that didn't bring me joy."

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousAugust 17, 2016 at 12:37 PM

    Obviously Docs need to employ robo-callers to randomly call patients to sternly ask them if they've been taking their meds

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousAugust 17, 2016 at 12:40 PM

    "I Googled to see if there was a way of microwaving your blood to make it look like you'd been taking your meds."

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousAugust 17, 2016 at 1:42 PM

    Holy cow! Don't just love working with the public.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AgenericdocAugust 17, 2016 at 6:12 PM

    It is sort of nice to know she wants you to think she's doing what you told her.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dee SniderAugust 17, 2016 at 6:58 PM

    We're not gonna take it!
    No, we ain't gonna take it!
    We're not gonna take it
    Till a couple days before we see the doctor!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. UnknownAugust 17, 2016 at 11:07 PM

    Oy vey!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. PackerAugust 18, 2016 at 11:40 AM

    Same approach works similarly when taking the breathalyzer test. Nest round.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?