Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Overheard at the nurse's station

"BITCH! You're the worst nurse ever! Get the fuck out of my room! But first, get me more morphine!"

21 comments:

  1. How about "No......"?

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  2. Oh yeah, and HAPPY NURSE'S WEEK! LOL

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  3. "The worst nurse ever doesn't know where the morphine is. Sorry."

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  4. and she is probably the worlds worst nurse because it isnt time for his morphine! been there.....

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  5. Sir: I will be back very soon with lots and lots , I mean lots of morphine, don't you worry you will have so much you will never want for more..................heheheheh

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  6. New FDA guidelines say . . . . no MORPHINE FOR YOU!

    Or soup, either. Thank you, Seinfeld.

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  7. BTDT...

    It doesn't pay to piss off your nurse, dude!

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  8. Sweet neg, dude! You're well on the way to becoming a pickup artist!

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  9. The idea being that she'll be so rattled that she'll bring him morphine without noticing that he's not actually a patient at the hospital?

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  10. "I'm here in the hospital because of a repetitive strain injury I sustained from leaving comments on Internet message boards. Why do you ask?"

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  11. "I'm here in the hospital because the biker gang I buy my drugs from found something objectionable in the manner in which I requested my eight ball. Why do you ask?"

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  12. Press Ganey is king.

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  13. "I'm here in the hospital because my skydiving instructor is a complete moron who can't take a little constructive criticism. Why do you ask?"

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  14. There's a wonderful book on raising teenagers called, "Get Out Of My Life, But First Will You Take Me and Cheryl To The Mall?"

    Sounds like a teenager there.

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  15. "I'm here in the hospital because- well, let's just say I'm never eating at Benihana again. Why do you ask?"

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  16. Cripes. I've had a few - very few, but a few - bad nurses in my time, but I've always simply asked another nurse, or a nursing assistant, to get the nursing supervisor or floor nurse and ask to be switched nurses.

    And when I've screamed for morphine, it generally went: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    Along with some begging for someone to just kill me already.

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  17. "Get me more morphine!"

    Yeah, unless you're dying, there's pretty strict rules about that. So no.

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  18. Sorry. My hearing aid went off when I heard someone say a bad word. What were you saying, dear? You need to use the loo? You have a Foley, let me just how that is working for you.

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  19. Best doctor order ever. No joke. This was an order. " pt is drug seeking, don't call me for more narcotics"

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  20. Our daughter is a pharmacist at a 24 hour pharmacy attached to a major hospital. Every time we talk she has a few more "drug seeking patient" stories.

    Including forged prescriptions, "husband/wife stole my medicine" stories, you name it.

    Some are funny, in a horrid way. Some are pretty sad.

    The saddest, I think, was a doctor (in another system) who tried to forge a prescription using his wife's in-system access. Ended up with an ethics investigation and a suspended license for him. Nearly cost him his marriage and his career.

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So wadda you think?