Dear Mr. Floccosum,
There is a time a place for everything. When I am ready to examine you, believe me, I will.
I sent you back to my office so we can start just by talking.
I did not ask you to, right off the bat, remove your shoes and socks. Nor did I know that you hadn't trimmed your toenails or washed your feet since the Ford administration.
And for the love of all that is good and holy, you did not need to prop them both up on my desk.
Thank you.
There's a fungus among us.
ReplyDeleteAnd now on your deskus.
Gross!!
ReplyDeletewhat-you don't offer pedicures as part of your patient encounters? How are you going to improve your Yelp rating???
ReplyDeleteLook, Nixon told me he'd only make me his VP if I agreed to pardon him and to repeal the federal mandatory foot-cleaning law. What would you have done in my place?
ReplyDeleteDiagnosis: Patient wear no shoeshine, and got toe jam football. Patient got feet down below his knees. Hold you in his arms, yeah, you can feel patient's disease.
ReplyDeleteAhh the inappropriately comfortable patient. I've seen scabies on cleavage, bruises on bottoms, and ringworm under flaps of belly fat from clients who think the vet can just treat them too, but I've never had one ask for a toenail trim.
ReplyDeleteYou should have gone into Podiatry. At least there most of the patents have the sense to wash their feet before going to doctor.
ReplyDeleteI always schedule my Dr. appointments early in AM , so I am fresh out of shower before going now I will take my own sweet time.
I am so grossed out right now. You need to change professions. Where do your other talents lie?
ReplyDeletePacker said "most of the patients have the sense to wash their feet before going to the doctor."
ReplyDeleteOh, you think so, do you?
Right. And most people brush before going to the dentist.