Monday, December 21, 2015

Gift guide 2015

We all have that narcissistic acquaintance who thinks the world actually gives a shit about what they're doing, where they are, and what they're eating at any given moment. Those subscribing to their Twitter and Instagram accounts are treated to a never ending stream of food, street signs, tables, weather conditions, toilet paper marks, and other pointlessly mundane information about their everyday life.

So what's the ideal gift for that person? Well, I'm sure they think that, in a world as insane as ours, someone out there is just dying to watch them eat breakfast cereal up close and personal.

So why not get them the selfie spoon?


This life-altering device allows you to attach a smart phone to the end of your spoon and happily film yourself sucking down cereal, soup, ice cream, oatmeal, and pretty much anything else you can eat with a spoon. Every slurp and close-up of something caught in your teeth is captured and broadcast to your worldwide followers.

This concludes the 2015 gift guide. Please keep sending the ideas in as you find them, as there's always next year. I'll be off for the next 2 weeks, and wish all a happy celebration of whatever they choose.




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16 comments:

  1. jimbo26December 21, 2015 at 7:48 AM

    Hope you and the family have a nice time .

    ReplyDelete
  2. bobbieDecember 21, 2015 at 10:45 AM

    Merry Winter Solstice!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 21, 2015 at 11:02 AM

    But how do you fit that into your nostril?

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousDecember 21, 2015 at 12:22 PM

    Happy holidays Dr. Grumpy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 21, 2015 at 2:30 PM

    Make sure to remove your phone before you put it in the dishwasher. Or, better yet, don't remove it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 21, 2015 at 2:35 PM

    Coming for a limited time only- the McGoPro!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousDecember 21, 2015 at 2:41 PM

    Gag me with a... oh, never mind.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousDecember 21, 2015 at 7:23 PM

    (Only if it comes with photoshop apps. I am shy about the broccoli, pieces of cabbage, and apple bits that inevitably shows up, and do not like people to look at my unbrushed teeth.)

    Happy, festive, festivus, indeed! And, merry merry, too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. a.generic docDecember 21, 2015 at 11:24 PM

    Is there a matching fork in case I want a picture of myself eating something that doesn't use a spoon?

    ReplyDelete
  10. charlesDecember 21, 2015 at 11:35 PM

    Why on earth would I subscribe to a narcissistic acquaintance's twitter or other social media ramblings?

    The only "social media" that is worth reading is, of course, Dr. Grumpy!

    Enjoy the time with your family and loved ones Doc. And, have fun rounding up those yaks that got out of their pen again.

    ReplyDelete
  11. oh dearDecember 22, 2015 at 5:16 AM

    Posted it to a friend about how self absorbed you'd have to be to want this... and one of my friends was bugging me where to get one.... fail.

    ReplyDelete
  12. MageDecember 22, 2015 at 11:35 AM

    Now that's a great idea. And Charles obviously doesn't have grandchildren. LOL
    Happy whatever to you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousDecember 23, 2015 at 1:24 PM

    For the heroin addict who has everything...

    ReplyDelete
  14. J. Alfred PrufrockDecember 23, 2015 at 1:38 PM

    Wow, I can't wait to start measuring out my life with one of these babies...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mark p.s.2December 23, 2015 at 1:43 PM

    I love the Festivus gift note

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousDecember 24, 2015 at 7:27 AM

    Looks too much like a speculum (and, not the ornithological definition, either). It'd give me the willies. If someone gave me this as a gift, I'd regift it quickly. (Gag me with a sp... .)

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?