A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Friday, November 6, 2015
Quote of the day
"I saw a surgeon once. He took out my appendix, or maybe my gall bladder. Shoot... It could have been my tonsils... or an ingrown toenail... anyway, you know, it was one of those things."
I saw a surgeon once. It was in a steakhouse. If he cuts people the way he cut a $50+ piece of prime Kobe beef I'm going to start asking my neurologist if he does hangnails and gallbladders.
Probably an elderly patient . I surmise this from the laid back approach that many elderly people take regarding health issues. They know they have attained the biblical three score plus ten, so little difference does it matter beyond that. I have seen it more than once and they stop paying attention to the things that would send a 50 years to the Doctor.
"According to the surgeon, the human body is like a piece of Ikea furniture, where there's always some part left over at the end and you're not sure what it is or where it goes."
"...oh wait, it was the wish-bone, that was it! Now I remember, the wish-bone! The wish-bone was the very last thing the surgeon took out before my nose glowed ridiculously red and there was a hideous screeching buzzer sound."
Don't you love treating hot dog manufacturers?
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was my brain?
ReplyDeleteI saw a surgeon once. It was in a steakhouse. If he cuts people the way he cut a $50+ piece of prime Kobe beef I'm going to start asking my neurologist if he does hangnails and gallbladders.
ReplyDeletestay safe.
Probably an elderly patient . I surmise this from the laid back approach that many elderly people take regarding health issues. They know they have attained the biblical three score plus ten, so little difference does it matter beyond that. I have seen it more than once and they stop paying attention to the things that would send a 50 years to the Doctor.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe it was a vet and he neutered my dog....
ReplyDeleteWell, I know a surgeon took out something but I'm not at all sure what.
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly I was pretty small at the time.
"Priceline.com lets you name your own price for surgery, but it doesn't tell you what you're having removed."
ReplyDelete"It was late at night, and we were all pretty wasted by that point."
ReplyDeletei always tell dr that i only had 1 surgery, and i did not walk for almost a year after the procedure.
ReplyDeleteit was when i was circumsized as an infant.
Aren't all those body parts interchangeable?
ReplyDeleteThe good: None of those possible surgeries are likely to matter as part of a neurological problem.
ReplyDeleteThe bad: The memory deficit might be part of a neurological problem.
Maybe he got a price break and got them done all at once.
ReplyDeleteObviously, it was a lobotomy.
ReplyDeleteThe drawbacks of psychic surgery.
ReplyDelete"According to the surgeon, the human body is like a piece of Ikea furniture, where there's always some part left over at the end and you're not sure what it is or where it goes."
ReplyDelete"Let's just say that, when it came time to bill the insurance, there was some constructive ambiguity."
ReplyDelete"Okay, okay, it was to have a pair of Lalique candlesticks removed from my rectum. There, I said it. Are you happy now?"
ReplyDelete"Whatever it was, there's gotta be an easier way to lose weight."
ReplyDeleteMoral of the story: when you go overseas for medical tourism, don't skimp on hiring a good translator.
ReplyDelete"...oh wait, it was the wish-bone, that was it! Now I remember, the wish-bone! The wish-bone was the very last thing the surgeon took out before my nose glowed ridiculously red and there was a hideous screeching buzzer sound."
ReplyDeleteBen Carson?
ReplyDelete"I'm pretty sure it was something in, near, or around my body??...."
ReplyDeleteyou know, one of the optional body parts!
ReplyDelete