Summer Vacation, day 13

This afternoon they had a balloon drop in the ship's atrium.

They announced that some of the balloons would have prizes in them, so the floor under the net was packed with people ready to kill each other for whatever meaningless trinkets were in them. It looked like it could get ugly. It may be the only time some of these people would ever use the Ulu knives they'd just bought.

And, of course, the twins were down there somewhere, ready to kill for a cheap lanyard. I stood up on the 7th floor to watch.

After the appointed countdown, the free-for-all began. With balloons popped and the blood spilt, the twins were jumping up and down with something they'd managed to snag (I was sort of hoping it was Mrs. Bitchy's wallet).

They came running up the stairs with a rolled-up paper with a rubber band around it. Had we won a free cruise? A chance to drive the boat? Dinner at the deluxe restaurant? We carefully opened it.

It was a coupon for $15 off a $280 spa package.

Craig spilled my Diet Coke all over it. We left the mess there and went for ice cream.


Teenage boys are an interesting species to travel with, primarily for their ability to giggle and point out certain patterns they see

In nature:

 

Near the theater stage: 

 Even in the dining room breadbasket:

We got a starter of fried calamari tonight. I thought it was good, but Frank (at least he was brave enough to try it) didn’t like it, and spit it into his napkin.

There’s an old trick of hanging a spoon on the end of your nose, and for whatever reason, in the formal dining room tonight, my kids felt the need to practice it. The boys weren’t particularly successful, but Marie got it right. The trick ends when the spoon inevitably falls off... and in this case it went down the front of her dress and got caught in her bra.

Without thinking she pulled down her shirt to get it, exposing her developing cleavage to those around us. A kid at the Limoncello table stopped singing "Happy Groundhog Day" and yelled "TOM! LOOK!"

Craig, being a gentlemanly brother, graciously grabbed a napkin off the table to help cover her up. Unfortunately, it was Frank's napkin, and sent his hunk of chewed calamari flying down after the spoon. Marie screamed and jumped up, knocking her chair backwards with a crash. The spoon landed on the floor. The piece of masticated squid bounced onto the table. Craig spilled his water. Frank stood up as his phone started playing Amish Paradise. Marie, in frantically trying to pull her shirt back up, somehow unhooked her bra, and it fell down under her dress. She grabbed it off the floor and ran to the restroom, crashing into Parmesan-cheese-grater-guy.

Sigh.

There’s a line in the 1981 movie “The Four Seasons” where, following a fight between 2 men kicking a taxidermied moose head into a fireplace, Rita Moreno asks aloud “I wonder what other people do on their vacations?”

This is one of those moments that I ask the same thing.