Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Gigantopithecus

Dr. Grumpy: "You're lucky to be alive. Looks like you had a pretty serious head injury."

Mr. Patterson: "That's what they told me. They had to open my head up 3 times in the first 2 days to get the brain bleeding to stop."

Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah... I'm looking at the CT scans here... How did this happen?"

Mr. Patterson: "I was on vacation, and my wake-up call was for 3:30 a.m. I don't normally get up that early, and when the phone rang it really startled me. I jumped up in bed, and knocked this heavy painting off the wall and it cracked me on the head. Then, when I was trying to get the phone to stop ringing, I fell out of bed and hit my head really hard on the night stand. When I tried to get off the floor I knocked that over, and this metal lamp landed on my head."

Dr. Grumpy: "Wow. Why were you getting up so early on vacation, anyway?"

Mr. Patterson: "I had to meet my group at 4:15. I'd signed up for a tour to search for Bigfoot."
at

22 comments:

  1. bunkywiseJuly 7, 2015 at 10:33 AM

    My vacation stories are so boring in comparison. And why does Bigfoot get up so early?

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  2. bobbieJuly 7, 2015 at 11:00 AM

    ***snork***

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  3. Ms. DonnaJuly 7, 2015 at 11:14 AM

    think you found her/him. Grumpy.

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  4. AmyJuly 7, 2015 at 11:15 AM

    no.

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  5. AnonymousJuly 7, 2015 at 11:41 AM

    i thought it only happened in sitcoms...

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  6. xedraJuly 7, 2015 at 11:58 AM

    Hope he did take the hint...

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  7. AnonymousJuly 7, 2015 at 12:13 PM

    Probably just as well. Who knows what kind of trouble he could get into with a mounted Bigfoot head on his wall?

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  8. AnonymousJuly 7, 2015 at 12:27 PM

    Mr. Patterson? What happened to Mr. Henderson?!

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  9. AnonymousJuly 7, 2015 at 1:50 PM

    So much for Washington state's anti-poltergeist hotel room tax.

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  10. PackerJuly 7, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    When I go looking for Bigfoot, I am so excited that I can't sleep at all.

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  11. Gracie's MomJuly 7, 2015 at 6:06 PM

    So, after all that did he see Bigfoot or just stars?

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  12. AnonymousJuly 7, 2015 at 7:38 PM

    My relative was injured by a hotel room painting falling off the wall too!

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  13. AnonymousJuly 7, 2015 at 9:04 PM

    Those are the guys that the inventors need to come up with ideas for a lightweight foldable pocket-size cranial helmet, to take on vacation where there are sure to be heavy things that might fall on them, or they might fall heavily on their noggin. Make mine glow-in-the-dark pink!

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  14. AnonymousJuly 8, 2015 at 1:44 AM

    Moral of the story: next time you have to meet your group at 4:15 am, stay up all night drinking instead of going to sleep.

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  15. AnonymousJuly 8, 2015 at 1:48 AM

    "And the ironic thing is that, after I got home, I discovered that he'd been vacationing in Grumpyville the whole time I was off looking for him."

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  16. AnonymousJuly 8, 2015 at 1:51 AM

    Is "searching for Bigfoot" what they're calling it these days?

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  17. The Condign GentlemanJuly 8, 2015 at 1:52 AM

    "I was really hoping it would be better than last year's snipe hunting trip."

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  18. AnonymousJuly 8, 2015 at 2:05 AM

    "And we were going to find him even if it meant checking every single brothel in Nevada."

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  19. AnonymousJuly 8, 2015 at 2:07 AM

    "But eventually I came to learn that Bigfoot lives inside every one of us."

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  20. C.July 8, 2015 at 2:20 AM

    Is he usually startled by a ringing phone?

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  21. AnonymousJuly 8, 2015 at 9:48 PM

    Never been to a hotel where everything but the phone, remote, and the bible weren't permanently attached to something.

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  22. AnonymousJuly 10, 2015 at 12:07 AM

    So did he find Bigfoot?

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So wadda you think?