Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Finders keepers

Mary: “Dr. Grumpy’s office, this is Mary.”

Miss Presson: “Hi, this is Lee Presson, I had an appointment with Dr. Grumpy about an hour ago.”

Mary: “Sure. What’s up?”

Miss Presson: “Did you guys find one of my fingernails?”

Mary: “Um… No… You lost a fingernail?”

Miss Presson: “Yeah. I put on a fake set this morning that I got at Cheapshit Chic. And one is missing. I think I last saw it in your lobby. They have, like, leopard spots on them.”

Mary: “Well, I haven’t seen one…”

Miss Presson: “Can you please look?”

Mary: “Okay… Hang on, let me put you on hold.”


Mary walks out to the lobby, and, I swear, finds the fingernail.



Mary: “All right, I have it. It’s stuck to the cover of this week’s People magazine.”

Miss Presson: “Great, I’ll be by in about 10 minutes. Will you hold it for me?”

Mary: “You’re coming back to get a fake fingernail?”

Miss Presson: “Yeah, I’m meeting a blind date for lunch. I don’t want him to think there’s something wrong with me that I only have 9 fingernails.”

Mary: “Okay... It’s here up front. In fact, you can take the magazine attached to it, too.”

Miss Presson: “Thanks. Hey, do you guys have any super glue?"

11 comments:

  1. In the field of medicine, I am sure this is minor on the squeamish scale but I find it pretty disgusting. Not sure why, either. Band-aids are infinitely worse.

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  2. Hey, at least she was nice! And working at the vet, I've definitely seen worse things in our lobby.

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  3. Thank God she didn't ask Mary to find her missing prosthetic eye in the lobby.

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  4. Looks like Mary Nailed this one!

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  5. "The first thing my OkCupid profile says is that I have ten fingernails, so this is kind of important."

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  6. Yay Stacy, comment of the week.

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  7. It makes you wonder what she was doing in the doctor's lobby with that magazine.

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  8. I'm a little disgusted; but the things is, if I were to every try dating again...this could totally be me.

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  9. At least Ms. Presson was polite about the situation. Also, Mary has very sharp eyes.

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  10. Stacy wins today's gold star!!!

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  11. My first car was a lebaron. A two-door with a landau roof. The thing was a tank. I drove home once in a snowstorm; cars off both sides of the expressway and in the median. Chaos everywhere. My trusty lebaron plowed right through.

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So wadda you think?