Friday, December 19, 2014

Quote du jour

"I'm allergic to arsenic."

18 comments:

  1. I hope he doesn't have APL.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well.. they would have a reaction..

    Did you ask them if they were allergic to higher wave energies in large doses or if they react negatively to immersion and super saturation of dihydrogen monoxide?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is he/she also allergic to old lace?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Excuse me, sir. Captain Pedantic would like to remind you that most people consume arsenic just about every day. It's probably in your drinking water, unless you're actively filtering it. It's commonly found in things like apple juice and there was a big deal a couple years ago about it showing up in rice - no surprise, given that rice is grown practically underwater.

    Once again you think you're being hilarious at the expense of actual science. You want people to think, "Hahaha, Mr Stupid thinks he's allergic to poison!" when the truth may be that he's actually sensitive to a common trace metal.

    p.s. I am too a robot. SO THERE. NYAH.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Moose has a point. It is perfectly reasonable for this patient to be able to narrow his sensitivity down to arsenic. Just to be a devils advocate though maybe it is hydrogen or oxygen since those are in the water too. Like they always say, a little science...

    ReplyDelete
  6. I meant to say 'unobtanium'- I'm allergic to unobtanium. Yeah, that's it. I'm actually very allergic to unobtanium.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I suspect that it is not a real allergy so much as it is a reduced tolerance. I tell people I am allergic to The Real Housewives of LA/ NJ? NY/ Atlanta but it is not a real allergy, just a reduced tolerance that makes me sick.

    ReplyDelete
  8. so put them on a low arsenic (broccoli) diet

    ReplyDelete
  9. You know, if the reaction is 'hives' or 'pinkie on left hand twitches', this could be a very useful piece of information for a lonely old man who finds his twice elderly landladies attractive. Sort of a 'canary in the coal mine' type of effect. On the other hand, if it is as Moose warns, this lonely old man could find himself experiencing a lot of 'hives' or 'twitchy pinkies'?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Arsenic was actually listed as an ingredient on a bottled water I purchased while at the beach a few years ago. I was amused. Drank it anyway.

    And I'm not a robot, either. I am very impressed that I was actually able to read the captcha this time! Usually it takes me at least 5 tries.

    ReplyDelete
  11. One of my faves:
    "Allergic to succinylcholine"
    Reaction: irritable

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well I personally have a sensitivity to cyanide. I also think im allergic to midazolam, because it makes me sleepy. Also profile. That makes me REALLY sleepy. Yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Speaking of allergies, I'm deeply allergic to guillotine. It gies me a strange feeling of dissociation. Do you have a solution?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was about to do a fine needle aspiration on a patient.
    Me: any allergies?
    Him: ...pain.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Some guys just can't hold their arsenic...

    ReplyDelete
  16. maybe they were talking about small lacerations of the backside

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?