Mrs. Dementia lives with her daughter. She's on the ball enough to remember that she doesn't like me because I took away her driver's license, but that's about it. Anyway...
Mrs. Dementia: "Hello?"
Mary: "Hi, Mrs. Dementia. This is Mary, from Dr. Grumpy's office."
Mrs. Dementia: "Hi, Mary. You have the wrong number. I don't live here anymore."
Mary: "Okay, well, I'm calling to remind you about your appointment tomorrow."
Mrs. Dementia: "I won't be able to go. My daughter's car isn't working, and can't be fixed. I can't go to doctor appointments anymore."
Mary: "Is your daughter there?"
Mrs Dementia: "No, she drove to the grocery store because we're out of bread."
Mary: "Can you have her call me when she gets home?"
Mrs. Dementia: "She doesn't live here anymore, either. I don't know when she'll be home."
Mary: "Okay, I'll just call back later, thank you."
Mrs. Dementia: "You can't. Our phone is broken, and no one has been able to reach us for days."
Mary: "Does your daughter have her cell phone with her?"
Mrs. Dementia: "That's broken, too. I think you have a wrong number."
Mary: "Okay. Thank you. I'll try..."
Mrs. Dementia: "Our phone is broken, so don't try to call back. The grocery man told us it can't be fixed."
Daughter (picks up extension): "Hello? This is Sue. Mom, who are you talking to?"
Mrs. Dementia: "I'm sorry Sue, I think you also have a wrong number."
Mary: "This is Mary, at Dr. Grumpy's office."
Mrs. Dementia: "Our phone is broken, and we can't hear you."
Sue: "Hi, Mary. Is this about tomorrow?"
Mary: "Yes, at 2:45.
Sue: "We'll be there."
Mrs. Dementia: "You both have a wrong number because the phone is broken. I didn't hear it ring."
Mary: "Thank you. See you then."
Got to give her points for trying.
ReplyDeleteLol , brilliant .
ReplyDeleteWow. I couldn't come up with such a weird conversation. Love aside, it must be hard to live with a parent like this.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet conversation. That must help balance all of the deliberately rude/obtuse callers you have.
ReplyDeleteSo sad... but totally hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI think you have to try to chuckle about these types of conversations because otherwise it would be too scary.
ReplyDeleteI pray I never see my parents in that situation.
I now have my script for the next time the door-to-door salesman comes by.
ReplyDeleteAnon 9:03 - You are so right. With dementia, my mother became loud and agressive. But she gave us a gem to remember: "I don't remember forgetting anything!!" Sometimes the only response is to laugh or cry. Laughter helps.
ReplyDelete"No one's home" would have been a nice addition
ReplyDeleteI have come to the realization that several of my patients are not necessarily hard of hearing, but hard of listening. It should be a diagnostic code, since its prevalence is rather widespread.
ReplyDeleteI've had a few demented patients and sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's hilarious, and other times it's downright frustrating. Makes life interesting.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness she has Sue!
ReplyDeleteafter hearing that conversation, I am glad you took away her drivers license
ReplyDeleteReminds me of my grandfather. He did not speak English except for a few words and never used the phone. So if the phone rang, it was never for him. When home alone, he would thus answer the phone by saying, "Nobody home. Goodbye." and hang up. I've often wondered what callers must have thought.
ReplyDeleteAnother reason Mary needs a raise!!
ReplyDeleteHilarious, but hell to live with, probrably.
ReplyDeleteMy gran stopped recognising me when I was in my teens. She lived another 5 years, but to me my grandma had died years before. There was a quite sweet demented old woman sitting in her wheelchair, but it wasn't my gran.
My dad's getting dementia, and since I don't talk to him anymore I don't know whether it's the angry kind or the sweet kind (probably the angry kind). I can imagine him doing this to someone.
ReplyDelete