Dr. Urgent: "What brings you to ER today?"
Mr. Couth: "I got a big, huge, ball of shit in my ass and it fucking hurts."
Attention medical students: we at Dr. Grumpy, Inc., will not be held responsible for your grades if you use the above quote when presenting a case to your attending.
Makes the perfect Subjective
ReplyDeleteOh, I thought this was an ad for Medical School.
ReplyDeleteor St. Elsewhere.
At least it's in his ass.
ReplyDeleteLet me guess, his first name is "Un"?
ReplyDeleteSaving lives, one disimpaction at a time
ReplyDeleteYou can't really dust for shit.
ReplyDeleteC'mon down! I can help you with that! (as I wave the finger in the air).
ReplyDeleteYou may not like it though, if you have sensation.
Pulled a softball (literally that size) out of a bariatric patient once.
He/she didn't like it either, but the one lubed finger worked wonders. Popped it right out (and I thought it was going to put a hole in the bedside commode.)
I'm a medical coder and I actually had a nursing student write this on the treatment forms:
ReplyDelete"Procedure: I&D of large infected boil on ass."
Needless to say, I couldn't code that. I'd also get fired if I sent it through for billing.