Monday, April 7, 2014

Seen in a hospital chart:




So, based on this detailed exam, we can assume which of the following:

The patient...

A. Is dead, and the doctor is in the morgue by mistake.

B. Has escaped, and left a mannequin in the bed.

C. Is a parrot.

D. Wait, how the hell is that part of a mental status exam?

E. The doctor billed this as a level 5 visit.


at

20 comments:

  1. a.generic docApril 7, 2014 at 6:21 AM

    F. The patient is a ghost.

    G. The patient has joined the KKK.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ER's MomApril 7, 2014 at 6:23 AM

    Wait...this is like the multiple choice at my med school, in which case the answer is:
    A,D, AND E.

    And no credit unless you got every thing. :(

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 7, 2014 at 6:58 AM

    Patient is member of the KKK

    ReplyDelete
  4. NoahApril 7, 2014 at 7:56 AM

    As a nurse, from time to time I've had patients (mostly elderly men) who would just pull the sheet over their heads and sleep like that; guessing that's probably what was going on here.

    This does not exclude A, B, C, or E.

    ReplyDelete
  5. bluetoothbuddhaApril 7, 2014 at 8:07 AM

    That mental state exam was a piece of sheet.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Officer CynicalApril 7, 2014 at 8:51 AM

    "Housekeeping!"

    ReplyDelete
  7. skidmarkApril 7, 2014 at 10:44 AM

    1 - Was that sheet wet?
    2 - Was that sheet tightly covering the patient?
    3 - Does the patient have a history of being uncovered - as in inappropriately exposed?

    4 - Is it bad that years of working with crazies made me see the note as generally unremarkable?

    stay safe.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousApril 7, 2014 at 11:18 AM

    I think this was a test of the doctor's mental state.

    He failed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. JonoApril 7, 2014 at 11:33 AM

    F. Patient is attempting self-mummification.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Loren PechtelApril 7, 2014 at 4:49 PM

    Euphemism for being a KKKer?

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousApril 7, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    Patient is attempting to conduct examination through the sheet. (That is, the patient has the crib sheet underneath and is reading the answers word for word for each test question.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousApril 7, 2014 at 4:55 PM

    As in correcting the misunderstanding that it is the examiner that is usually under the sheet?

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousApril 7, 2014 at 5:01 PM

    To heck with the physical exam, let's just go straight to the mental status exam which incidentally was held under the sheet.Being a particularly good quality sheet, at least 350 ct, the number of fingers held up test was deferred. However, the patient did pass the numbers counting back from 100 question and was able to recall the three words after 5 min. story question; the drawing exercise was a different matter and we did not provide the magic marker this time to actually write on the sheet.

    ReplyDelete
  14. pretzelApril 7, 2014 at 8:14 PM

    I presume an actual doctor (or possibly a NP or PA) wrote this, so this is better than my MA typing "wearing a hat" into the "General" portion of the exam.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousApril 7, 2014 at 8:27 PM

    A sheet of what?

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousApril 7, 2014 at 10:06 PM

    Perhaps this was written by an illiterate who meant to write covered in shit. That's what it would mean if it was one of my patients' charts, I'm sure.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Struck by a TurtleApril 8, 2014 at 8:05 PM

    E! Billed a level 5 :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. RehabRNApril 8, 2014 at 10:14 PM

    Maybe the patient was covered by another kind of sheet. (bad pun...sorry.) Way too much "sheet" at the Hotel.

    BTW I'd like to know when neurology started partnering with the cotton mills (mental status and sheets).

    Too much fun here free associating.

    Aren't coworkers fun?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hal Dall, MDApril 10, 2014 at 11:03 PM

    C. It's a parrot

    E's not dead, e's just sleeping!

    ReplyDelete
  20. PierreApril 12, 2014 at 8:16 AM

    The patient is trick-or-treating disguised as a ghost. Asking for pills of course...

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?