The university where I went to medical school had a large indoor gym. All students were allowed to use it, but you had to show a student ID to get in. This is pretty standard.
What wasn't standard was Weather Guy.
To this day I don't know what his name was. He never wore a name tag. He was a pleasant, elderly fellow whose sole job was to sit there and check ID's before letting you into the gym.
I have no idea where the school found Weather Guy. For all I know he'd lived on the land when the school was started in 1868, and they built the gym around him and gave him a job. He was never NOT there. Weekends, nights, early mornings, holidays - I don't remember ever seeing anyone but Weather Guy working the gate. Neither did my roommate. Or professors who'd graduated from the school before I was born (the gym building, I believe, predated exercise). For all I know he lived at the entrance desk, and had a cot behind it.
But his most enduring feature was the one that gave him his name: a remarkable inability to discuss topics other than the weather. Nuclear war in progress? Let's talk about the weather. Super Bowl upset? Let's talk about the weather. Flaming car wreck outside the gym? Let's talk about the weather.
Now granted, a LOT of people ramble pointlessly about the weather. This is nothing new. What set Weather Guy apart was his lack of awareness for such.
In retrospect, I'd say he was fairly demented. It didn't take much effort to look at a plastic card and say "go on through." In fact, it would explain why he passed pretty much anyone with a plastic card, whether it was a student ID, credit card, drivers license, or Local Grocery rewards card.
So as you'd go through the line, he'd always say something like "It must be cold out there" or "it's a scorcher today." He'd say this regardless of season, so it was equally likely to be the dead of winter or blazing summer heat, and he'd have a 1-in-4 chance of being in the ballpark.
Of course, this sort of thing couldn't go ignored by college students.
There was a summer day when it was the typical hot & humid, with mosquitoes the size of dinner plates. I was in line behind a guy, and as he walked up Weather Guy guessed right and said "Gonna be a hot one."
This fellow, instead of saying the usual "uh-huh" and moving on, said "Actually a snowstorm just started. It's freezing!" And then went into the gym.
Weather Guy didn't bat an eyelash. As I came up to the counter and took out my ID, he said "It must be cold outside. I hear it's snowing."
And that's how Wikipedia's weather service came into being.
ReplyDeleteWe had a guy kinda like that on my campus, except he wasn't old. We called him Running Man. It didn't matter what time of day or what kind of weather, he was ALWAYS somewhere near campus running. He became sort of a local celebrity. Nobody knew where he lived or what else he did, but he was always there running.
ReplyDeletemaybe he was conducting a psychology experiment on everyone. He was documenting how many people would agree with him no matter how silly his opinion. Sounds like many just went with the flow and did agree with him. Maybe he wasn't as demented as everyone thought. Maybe, he didn't even work there and was pulling one over on everyone for all of those years.
ReplyDeleteProbably as accurate as any weather report.
ReplyDeleteHey a secure job and all the pretty coeds (or male students if he was that way) he could ogle.
ReplyDeleteThey had grocery rewards card way back when you were in medical school?!?
ReplyDelete:) Love ya Ibee
we had the "preacher man" at my college. He was always at the fountain in the middle of campus. You had to pass the fountain to go to different buildings. All sidewalks intersected the fountain. Some days you would want to sit at the fountain because you had an extra 5 minutes. He was always there preaching. "you are all sinners. You will go to hell for your sins". Hmmm... I didnt enjoy this much. We werent a religous college either. I think I would have enjoy someone preaching weather at me instead.
ReplyDeleteAt my daughter's daycare, when you asked the front desk lady how she was, she responded, "Peachy" 100% of the time. After a few times it just came across as sarcastic. I found it incredibly irritating, for some inexplicable reason.
ReplyDeleteHe was there all the time, and no one could remember a time without him? Obviously alien. While in Earth-infiltration training, he was told "When in doubt, talk about the weather." So, after all these years waiting for the mothership to return, he gave up on all those embarrassing and confusing topics and stuck to The Weather.
ReplyDeleteWow, so you also went to Miskatonic Med School!
ReplyDeleteSee? This is what made you chose neurology. So you can meet incarnations of the Weather Guy.
ReplyDeleteYou really should be getting some therapy, Ibee.
We had the Guy Who Directed Traffic at the intersection of Indian Trails and Bright Eagle. He had retired from professorship of something entirely unrelated to telling people when and where to go. He stood on the sidewalk and beckoned dog-walkers from that direction, the rubber baby buggy bumper pushers, and the 'Out for their Daily Constitutionals' from the south end of the street. He was a tall thin man with white, white hair and always work a canary yellow oxford shirt. When my husband walked past with our little American Eskimo, inevitably his comment was 'Pretty White, you may go.' I think she usually ignored his comment, and went on about her business taking her human on his walk.
ReplyDeleteEnglish by any chance?
ReplyDeleteAnother interesting case was a workplace colleague who always talked about how many $$$$ he had spent on new power tools last month - never a word about making anything!!