A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Yes, it did
Dr. Grumpy: "How have you been doing since the carpal tunnel surgery?"
Mr. Wrist: "Great! The numbness is gone. The surgeon you recommended did a great hand job! Uh, I mean, job on my hand. I, uh, oh shit, that sounded bad."
Once my friend's mother said I was so cute that she bet I had to beat the boys off with a stick. Only, she said, "beat their sticks off." I think it was unintentional, but my 16 year old self was totally mortified anyway.
"Now can you recommend a good pulmonologist? I'm having trouble blowing. Also, do you know a good auto mechanic? I'm having some problems with my rims. Oh, and if by any chance you know of any basket weavers..."
I can see it now- Daddy's sitting in the living room with a cast on his hand, and Billy turns to Jeffy and says, "Daddy got a hand job today." Why do all the good ideas come when it's too late? Fuck my afterlife.
My oldest son broke the tip of his middle finger and got a small plastic cast thingy. He always waited to show it off if somebody dared to ask which finger he had broken... He was 13 then.
Ok that's all KINDS of awesomeness!!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome.
ReplyDeleteOnce my friend's mother said I was so cute that she bet I had to beat the boys off with a stick. Only, she said, "beat their sticks off." I think it was unintentional, but my 16 year old self was totally mortified anyway.
I didn't realize "hand jobs" will fix carpal tunnel. That's way easier than surgery...and cheaper too (most of the time.)
ReplyDeleteAnybody know what will fix my husband's shoulder pain?
"Now can you recommend a good pulmonologist? I'm having trouble blowing. Also, do you know a good auto mechanic? I'm having some problems with my rims. Oh, and if by any chance you know of any basket weavers..."
ReplyDelete"Oh, and I almost forgot- my jazz band has a gig coming up this weekend, but our regular singer has the flu. Do you know someone who can scat?"
ReplyDeleteI can see it now- Daddy's sitting in the living room with a cast on his hand, and Billy turns to Jeffy and says, "Daddy got a hand job today." Why do all the good ideas come when it's too late? Fuck my afterlife.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha! Sorry couldn't help it.
ReplyDeletewere you still able to keep a straight face? i bet you weren't.
ReplyDeleteBack to the juvenile, I love it.
ReplyDeleteBeavis And Butthead Marathon.
My oldest son broke the tip of his middle finger and got a small plastic cast thingy. He always waited to show it off if somebody dared to ask which finger he had broken... He was 13 then.
ReplyDelete"Which is funny because hand jobs were how I got carpal tunnel in the first place."
ReplyDeleteAnd the best part is that it was paid for by his insurance.
ReplyDelete