Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dr. Grumpy's gift guide

Guys are terrible at thinking of gifts. I know I am. You just never know what to get your special someone, something that says it all.

But now there's an easy answer: coated globs of moose shit!


 


These lovely accessories are available in earrings, necklaces, cufflinks, and a wide variety of forms. No moose were harmed in the manufacturing process, though I suspect some intestinal bacteria didn't fare as well.
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18 comments:

  1. Adam ThrasherDecember 19, 2013 at 6:12 AM

    Why didn't I ever think of that?

    ReplyDelete
  2. JonoDecember 19, 2013 at 9:06 AM

    Rubber minnows from fishing lures are also popular in this north woods community.

    ReplyDelete
  3. PackerDecember 19, 2013 at 9:13 AM

    Those are 20th anniversary gifts, they are not Christmas Gifts.

    Where do these people come up with this shit ? Oh, yeah Mooses.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMDGDecember 19, 2013 at 9:18 AM

    If they were gallstones, on the other hand, that would be totally awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  5. arzt4empfaengerDecember 19, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    Okay, phew. I first thought they were gallbladder stones.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 19, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    Now...are these from 'moose' the animal or "Moose" your frequent commenter?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Judy in IndianaDecember 19, 2013 at 4:18 PM

    Sitting in a hotel hot tub one day on vacation we were next to a man who had rather interesting earrings. When I politely asked about it, the gentleman said he worked in a surgical unit and that he is often allowed to keep non human parts that come out of people. His earrings were made from "recycled" IUD's. How very creative and frugal.

    ReplyDelete
  8. brentDecember 19, 2013 at 5:11 PM

    I just want you to know that "moose nuggetts" are a valuable commidity here in Alaska.

    We sell a ton of this shit to those silly tourists.

    ReplyDelete
  9. NorthernNurseDecember 19, 2013 at 5:34 PM

    Thank goodness they are from moose (plural meese?). Imagine if they came from a person - my ears would get dragged to the floor!

    Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro...

    ReplyDelete
  10. lynda t.December 19, 2013 at 8:42 PM

    Anon 10:24 a.m. You are in deeeeep Moose Feces now! LOL...

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousDecember 19, 2013 at 9:19 PM

    Aww shucks. Those are just winter moose nuggets. Moose come down the mountains in winter and end up eating willow branches and other soft, woody, high-fiber tree limbs. Like cows, they eat the main course, regurgitate, and have dessert. You wouldn't want to wear summer nuggets. Depending on the vegetation, it has too much the appearance of bear scat.

    ReplyDelete
  12. BobbiDecember 19, 2013 at 10:35 PM

    My first thought was kidney stones. I had a supervisor once who had recurrent kidney stones. One day when he came back from the men's room, he tried to show me the stone he had just caught when he urinated. OMG...

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousDecember 20, 2013 at 12:06 AM

    I thought they were testicles of some animal, before I read the copy.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ye Olde Clap ChaserDecember 20, 2013 at 12:00 PM

    Hmmph...
    You can buy fossilized dinosaur shit jewelery on line. Best to call it by it's scientific name
    -coprolite-

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousDecember 20, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    ... from the Sarah Palin collection, what real American's are wearing with their mukluks this year.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousDecember 20, 2013 at 9:17 PM

    To a previous Anonymous, if you really want testicle earrings, google Neuticles. They're artificial testicle implants so your dog won't lose confidence post neuter, and I wish I was making this up.

    ReplyDelete
  17. MooseDecember 21, 2013 at 8:49 PM

    For the last time, I am not going to provide you with any more "samples", no matter what kind of doctor you claim to be.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousDecember 28, 2013 at 9:53 AM

    I saw such items for sale in the PX at Fort Richardson (just north of Anchorage, AK) in 1990.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?