Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."
Mr. Sativa: "I need to make an appointment."
Mary: "Okay, what will you be seeing the doctor for?"
Mr. Sativa: "I need my transmitters or transistors checked in a test."
Mary: "I'm not sure what you're talking about. What symptoms are you having?"
Mr. Sativa: "I don't know if I'm having symptoms or not. See, I've been smoking weed for years, and 3 days ago I stopped cold turkey because I needed the money to get my car fixed, and I need that test to see if my brain is, like, really fried."
Mary: "And what test did you say it was?'
Mr. Sativa: "I want my transistors, or transmitters, or whatever those things are that radios and TV's and power stations have, you know, except they're in your brain. I read about it on the internet."
Mary: "I'm not sure..."
Mr. Sativa: "Also, I need to know how much it costs, too, because now that I'm not smoking weed I'm trying to save money, in case I need more tests, or go back on weed, or get my car repaired again because it still isn't working right. It makes this weird noise, like a rabbit is trapped in the glove compartment, and I looked and there's no rabbit there, or bird, or anything. Do you know what can make a noise like that? Or can you ask the doctor?'
Mary: "Why don't you call Dr. Hehatesusandwehatehim, down the street. He does this test."
Mr. Sativa: "Oh, cool. Does he know anything about cars, too?'
Mary is a gift from the gods.
ReplyDeleteDid you refer to another neuro? Or a psych? Sounds like he's in definite need of a psychiatrist rather than neurologist...
ReplyDeleteTripping along, but not with Mary!
ReplyDeleteMary just earned herself a big bonus for quick thinking. LOL
ReplyDeleteWhile stoner boy deserves to be mocked derisively, in his defense there are lots of articles that point out that long-term drug use can mess up *neurotransmitters,* the chemicals your neurons use to make various kinds of signals travel through your nervous system.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, Google Guess (that thing where it fills in your potential search :) ) fills in "neurotransmitter testing as the second selection when you start typing neurotransmitter. Apparently there is a bit of a fad for people to sell such testing services to druggies. Who knew?
First name Bogart.
ReplyDeleteDon't open the glove box, open the hood. Always a better start to finding noises. Once there lube the hamster wheel on that 1999 Geo Metro
ReplyDeleteThe word you are looking for is Transponder, that picks up the satellite signal.
Stoners believe themselves to be such a benign lot, if they only and truly knew. Don't even try to tell them the truth, they won't believe you.
Mary: " The receptor connected to our telephone automatically does that test when people call. The dial is in the red, meaning that your brain IS in fact, fried...almost scorched. You don't need the other test to confirm it."
ReplyDeleteGood bye."
Poor guy. As Marc Cabot said, there is some evidence that long-term recreational use of Mary Jane can mess up the brain.
ReplyDeleteOf course, look at long-term users.
But Mary is a gem, Dr. G does not deserve her,(I suspect he'd be the first to admit that) and I love her sharpness.
LOL, Officer Cynical!
ReplyDeleteGREAT job, Mary ~ you deserve a bonus for that meet & street!!
"...Dr. Hehatesusandwehatehim..."
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!! I love the names you pick, Dr. Grumpy!
I worked for a federal judge for years, and there was a Senator and a U.S. Representative in the courthouse with us. The Senator's staff was great, but the Rep's staff drove Mercedes, wore mink coats, and wouldn't speak to anybody else in the courthouse, so whenever I got a call from a nutcase I always referred them directly to the Rep's office. Never felt a bit guilty about it, either. Go Mary!
ReplyDeleteDoes that come with fries?
ReplyDeleteah, the seventies . . . . or was it the sixties that generated the comment "if you remember them - you weren't there . . ."
ReplyDeletemary for the win!
ReplyDeletePlease turn this site into a script and send to Charlie Sheen.
ReplyDeleteDoes Mary fish? She should! She got him hook, line and sinker! Lol!
ReplyDelete