Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, sir, we'll check some labs, and I'll see you back after they're done... Any questions?"
Mr. Gravid: "No."
Lady Gravid: "Yeah, I have one."
Dr. Grumpy: "Go ahead."
Lady Gravid: "Do you mind if I look through your patient charts before we leave?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, yeah, I do. They're medical records. I can't allow that."
Lady Gravid: "Oh, I don't need to read them, I just want to look at patient names."
Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, but I still can't allow that. Sorry."
Lady Gravid: "Please? We're trying to think of baby names, and I don't like any I've seen so far."
I am currently interviewing for a new job. It's at times like these that I realize just how small a world it is. Everyone in my smaller metro area is literally no more than one or two connections apart from each other, as proven by the fact that every interviewer starts off by saying "oh, you attended X school? Do you know so and so?" (answer: not personally, but my friends all know him). Or, "you work at Blank Company? Do you know him or her? (answer: Yep, they sit two cubes down from me).
ReplyDeleteWhich is what makes it all the more infuriating to have my pharmacist insist on giving me a med talk while people milling about the pharmacy are within earshot, and my doctor's offices all insisting I sign in on the sign-in form that everyone and their mother can see when they approach the reception desk. I have a very unusual last name, so the fact that they are supposedly "protecting patients' privacy per the HIPAA rules" by only asking for the initial for your first name is completely pointless when they then insist that you spell out your last name.
Sorry, today's story triggered a sore spot with me.
If it's a boy, "Ibee" is nice.
ReplyDeleteLady and Mr. Gravid. Snerk!
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous with unusual name. That's really sucks, they should have a private sign in sheet for people who ask. Even my chiropractor has one.
ReplyDeleteTrue story. Hubby works a job where he sees 'private records.'
ReplyDeleteWe had picked a first name for the coming baby, but no middle. A paper crossed his desk with our chosen first name and he liked the middle with it.
The name 'worked' family-wise as well.
So, my son got his name from an application
MBee
i MISS the days when we could have handwritten lists of repeated drug diversion/seeking patients on the ER/urgent care desk,
ReplyDeletealong secondary list of those with really, really creative names that were quite, well, unusual. Honest , real names, that people were , ah, stuck with..
Ibee works for a girl as well. Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteAnd if they name her Ibee, Grumpy should send a present. I suggest Dragon -- who knows what it will make of baby babble.
Seriously, Anon 6:26, I feel your pain. I was a reporter in a small town (where you are not getting.) My name is somewhat unusual, and it appeared in the local paper frequently. (As a byline, not the police report!)
Anyway, I was at my OB-GYN to be treated for a check-up, and someone read my name on hte sign-in sheet. Imagine my surprise when the mayor of the community I covered asked when the "big event" would be.
I just saw a list of the most popular names for Dogs in the US, my dogs name was 29th, Want a copy Doc. I think the kid would do well with the moniker of Spike or Fido.
ReplyDeleteI think I have figured out the source of your tiredness the other day. Wasn't too hard.
I guess this lady has never heard of baby name books or internet searches for baby names. Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget seeing the birth announcement in our local paper in Scotland: To Mr and Mrs Conquest, a son: Norman
ReplyDeleteDr. Grumpy, the names you choose for your characters crack me up. Always so apropos, and this one here was done with nice parity. ;)
ReplyDeleteWell, at least she did ask first...
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a CPA, our firstborn's name came from a name he saw on a tax return at work.
ReplyDeletePatti 2:13. Ditto. Still, either Ibee or a nice Spike both have a nice ring to them.
ReplyDeleteHeh... Done with nice parity... I see what you did there... ;)
ReplyDeleteL&D RN
With some of the names I've seen lately, I don't think that folks look for new and original names just in baby name books! Restaurants, corrugated packing boxes, medical dictionary, ingredients in Jell-O pudding, paint chip colors at the hardware store ...
ReplyDelete"We checked the charts at our gastroenterologist's office, but we decided that 'Irritable Bowel Syndrome' was too long, and my husband already has a niece named 'Enema.'"
ReplyDeleteWhat you do to get an 'interesting' name, is you take normal names and write them backwards, and then adjust it to be pronouncable if necessary.
ReplyDeleteHelena => Aneleh
Janet => Tenaj
Simon => Nomis
etc etc
Or just hit the keyboard a few times and see if you like anything you get.