A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Have you considered earplugs?
Patient quote of the day:
"I always keep a gun on my nightstand, to help me sleep. The neighbors have this stupid dog that starts barking around midnight. So I fire a few shots out the window, and that shuts him up until morning."
I think the gunshots wake the owners, who then grab the dog and lock him in the house. I think the dog is incapable of understanding his cause and effect in this case.
I think that this person shouldn't be allowed to have a gun. Obviously this has been going on for some time and he hasn't hit the damn dog yet. He's a safety hazard.
Grumpy - love the blog! I'm a rising M4, and these are fantastic.
Lewis Black went on a rant last night on The Daily Show about the abuse of the word 'artisanal' which immediately made me think of you. Watch the video if you haven't seen it yet, I think you'll appreciate it:
"And then there's all them unsolved shootin's on the next block over. Odd: they always happen right after the dog barks. But I ain't worried cuz I got my gun."
Sounds like your patient is my office mate who recently called his neighbor to tell him that he was going to shoot his dog and that the next time the man sees his dog the dog will be dead. No kidding. This is what I deal with all day.
I'm afraid I find this one hard to laugh at. I've never forgotten an incident in Ontario that happened 30 years ago. Idiot used a real gun with bullets as a starter pistol. Police tracked him down and informed him the bullet went through a living room window and killed a pregnant woman. I guess that would be two counts of manslaughter?
Haha! That’s a hilarious anecdote! But yes, aside from such an outrageous measure, one can simply buy a handy pair of earplugs to shut out any unwanted noise. =) Wearing earplugs is also convenient even when you’re not sleeping. For instance, it’s best to wear earplugs if you’re going to a rock concert, wherein you’ll be exposed to extremely loud noises, since the earplugs can definitely protect your ears and your hearing.
Well, this is practical.
ReplyDeleteTo me it's a question of economics. Earplugs are reusable, gunpowder is not.
ReplyDeleteI think the gunshots wake the owners, who then grab the dog and lock him in the house. I think the dog is incapable of understanding his cause and effect in this case.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-may-1-2012/back-in-black---artisanal-foods
ReplyDeleteNow i will have to picture Lewis Black as Dr. grumpy!
I think that this person shouldn't be allowed to have a gun. Obviously this has been going on for some time and he hasn't hit the damn dog yet. He's a safety hazard.
ReplyDeleteyou'ld think by now they'ld have managed to actually hit the dog ...
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea.
ReplyDeleteGrumpy - love the blog! I'm a rising M4, and these are fantastic.
ReplyDeleteLewis Black went on a rant last night on The Daily Show about the abuse of the word 'artisanal' which immediately made me think of you. Watch the video if you haven't seen it yet, I think you'll appreciate it:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-may-1-2012/back-in-black---artisanal-foods
"And then there's all them unsolved shootin's on the next block over. Odd: they always happen right after the dog barks. But I ain't worried cuz I got my gun."
ReplyDeleteI reckon if he pointed the gun carefully in *just* the right direction, he could shut up the dog for longer than that.
ReplyDeleteSounds like your patient is my office mate who recently called his neighbor to tell him that he was going to shoot his dog and that the next time the man sees his dog the dog will be dead. No kidding. This is what I deal with all day.
ReplyDeleteHa!
ReplyDeleteHa!Ha!
Ha!Ha!Ha!
I almost choked to death on my morning bourbon.
"Have you considered target practice?",
ReplyDeleteotherwise a pair of .38's make some good ad hoc earplugs.
I would like to know where Grumpyville is specifically, to avoid the off chance that I retire and move their accidentally.
ReplyDeleteForearmed is forewarned , or something like that.
"I tried earplugs once, but they just jammed in the barrel."
ReplyDeleteWow, I guess your patient never heard of the Four Rules. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteIt is incumbent of you to call the authorities about your patient, Dr. Grumpy.
ReplyDelete"That's how long it takes him to fetch all the bullets."
ReplyDelete"One of these days, I'm going to switch to silver bullets."
ReplyDeleteAround here the neighbor would probably see him his gun shot and raise him one.
ReplyDeleteSeems to me like its not only the dog that's 'barking'......
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I find this one hard to laugh at. I've never forgotten an incident in Ontario that happened 30 years ago. Idiot used a real gun with bullets as a starter pistol. Police tracked him down and informed him the bullet went through a living room window and killed a pregnant woman. I guess that would be two counts of manslaughter?
ReplyDeleteHaha! That’s a hilarious anecdote! But yes, aside from such an outrageous measure, one can simply buy a handy pair of earplugs to shut out any unwanted noise. =) Wearing earplugs is also convenient even when you’re not sleeping. For instance, it’s best to wear earplugs if you’re going to a rock concert, wherein you’ll be exposed to extremely loud noises, since the earplugs can definitely protect your ears and your hearing.
ReplyDeleteDarren Mcandrews