'"Hi, this is Mrs. Triptan, and I see Dr. Grumpy for migraines. My daughter also gets migraines, so I give her my Painbegone pills. I know I'm not supposed to, but they work. Anyway, she's at 'Hunger Games' and has a migraine, but doesn't want to miss any of the movie, and texted me to bring her a pill. But I'm out, and the insurance won't give me more until April. So could Dr. Grumpy either meet me at his office to give me samples so I can take them to her? Or, if you're near Tween Cinema, could you just take them there? I can give you her cell number."
Um, no!
ReplyDeleteAnother example of exceptional parenting.
ReplyDeleteIf she'd thrown in a movie ticket for Marie and a large tube of buttered popcorn...
ReplyDeleteSo many ways this is so wrong. I swear, if my boys bring home girls from families like this....I'm moving to bfe.
ReplyDeleteYou. have. got. to. be. kidding!! How do you think this stuff up? Oh, this is real life? Scarey!!!
ReplyDeleteBest decision we ever made was not to stock any drug samples.
ReplyDeleteHow'd you like the movie?
ReplyDeleteSo how'd you like the movie?
ReplyDeleteI'm dying to hear your response to her....
ReplyDeleteAside from the totally asinine nature of her request, the bottom line is that her daughter isn't my patient.
ReplyDeleteAnd I told her that, without using the word asinine.
How could you have answered her without using the word asinine?Unless you used a stronger word ?
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Triptan,
ReplyDeleteif your daughter suffers from migraines she should go see a doctor herself. Hope you learn from this experience because the answer to your question is "No."
WTF? Seriously? Does this woman really think you are her personal servant or something? I mean, even if the daughter WAS your patient... Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteNo problem. Weekend theater call rate: $500, credit care number required in advance.
ReplyDeleteThe question that comes to mind is: Is Mrs. Triptan still your patient after this little fiasco? I'd say unbelievable, but having seen some bad parenting examples at work, in a high tech environment, I sometimes think that you are understating things.
ReplyDeleteI got a migraine reading that account, and I have never had a migraine in my life. I got rid of my migraine by going to the window throwing it open and yelling I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore.
ReplyDeleteMy friends trade migraine meds all the time. I never offer mine. I'm not dumb. Let them see their own neuro. ha
ReplyDelete"If you show up and my daughter's cell phone is busy, just go down to the front off the theater and stand in front of the screen and yell, 'Hayley! Over here!' a few times. And if anyone gives you any funny looks for being an adult man showing up by himself to a movie aimed at teenaged girls, just tell them that you're there to bring pills."
ReplyDeleteYou know, I have never, in my entire life, had a migraine, however, I was under the assumption that when people were suffering from a migraine that they were pretty much unable to do anything because of the pain. So, how is it that she was at a movie and wanted to stay there while suffering from a migraine? I'd think she'd just want to go home and lay perfectly still in bed! I mean, that's what I want to do when I have a headache and my headaches aren't migraines!
ReplyDelete"She reminds me of me at her age. In fact, she was conceived at a showing of 'I Know What You Did Last Summer.'"
ReplyDeleteWhen I have migrains I don't want to be in a loud theatre if my life depended on it just sayin'. I think daughter just likes painbegone meds
ReplyDeleteHoping for some artisanal help ?
ReplyDeleteWell, as a migraine sufferer, if she was having a true migraine, I don't think she would have stayed long.
ReplyDeleteThe flashing bright images on the screen, the smell of other people's body odors mingled with the smell of popcorn and nachos, the blast- your- ears- out - speakers and it wouldn't have taken me long before the vice grip that was squeezing my head, forced me to vomit in someone's giant tub of popcorn... which of course would cause me to leave, with my sunglasses on of course, stop by the concession stand to get two fountain drink cups, one filled with ice to attempt to put at the base of my neck or forehead, and the other one to puke in all the way home.
I am starting to doubt the daughter was having a hardcore, knock you out migraine.
I have heard that if you slap someone upside the head a few times, that helps cure the migraine subtype "stupidity migraine." Just a thought.
That is wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start. Do people really expect things like that? I'm beginning to believe I am the perfect patient.
ReplyDeleteCellnumber? So she actually expects you to call her while she is in the cinema? This is so wrong on so many levels...
ReplyDeleteBefore you leave for the Tween Cinema, please swing by my house and pick up my Tweens and take them to the next showing. On the way back, please stop at Trader Joe's and pick me up some hummus. I'll pay you back. Also, my lawn needs mowing. Please make sure the stripes look like a golf course.
ReplyDeletelife is difficult for all of us, and impossible for some. parenting is on the steep part of the difficulty curve. so even though i agree with the flabbergasted posters above, i feel sorry for this mom stuck in her role as a parent. ....but save that cell number. she might be a hottie.
ReplyDeleteMust have missed the part on the label that says "state and federal law prohibits the transfer of this drug to blah blah blah other than the person for whom it blah blah blah".
ReplyDeleteUn-fecking beleivable!!!!!
ReplyDeletethe thing is you COULD Not make this stuff up....
ReplyDeleteIm sure of it.
Grumpy:
ReplyDeleteAh, if I wrote her a letter...
Dear Mrs. Triptan:
Give Sweetie any more of your pills and I'm firing you as a patient.
Please tell Sweetie her migraine will go away if she goes home now.
Sincerely not,
Dr. Grumpy.
Nice story. I'm an ophthalmology resident- If people are ever thinking about sharing their migraine meds, I tell them about my patient who took his friend's Topamax and ended up with blurry vision in both eyes for several days. He was unable to work. The Topamax caused his ciliary body to swell, and his iris to roll forward, causing a myopic shift that made his vision blurry. It wore off after he stopped using the medicine.
ReplyDeleteGood thing he wasn't at risk of glaucoma at baseline, or it could have placed him in acute angle closure and caused him to lose vision permanently! These drugs are not benign, there is a reason you need a prescription for them!
As someone who's had my share of migraines, I think someone in this story is full of baloney. If she really had a migraine, a loud, obnoxious movie would be the LAST thing she'd want to stick around for. Sometimes when I read this stuff I don't know how you do it... maybe that's why you blog, to keep from laughing at patients, strangling them, or worse!
ReplyDeleteWhen you said no, I would bet 10 bucks her next call was to the pharmacy to see if the could advance her some. and then deliver them.
ReplyDelete(wv)esisonse shcistat- the chemical name of the triptan in question.
I think the people who can't believe the daughter would sit through the film while having a migraine underestimate the power of 'The Hunger Games'. Besides she had nothing to worry about, her mom was going to give her some Painbegone pills, no problem!
ReplyDeleteLol the Sumatriptan reference I got immediately but actually wondered where Tween Cinema was for a second. Too much time in a pharmacy..
ReplyDeleteWait, her daughter was texting during a movie? Unforgivable!
ReplyDeleteThe big issue isn't the sharing of meds or the lousy parenting, it's that this whack-job thinks Dr. Grumpy is at her beck and call to run errands for her.
ReplyDeleteI'd definitely kick her out of the practice ASAP Monday morning: she has gone through life treating people like this, and is beyond any kind of remedial training.
Dr. Grumpy is grumpy according to a Medscape physician only poll.
ReplyDeleteThe least happy physicians are internists, gastroenterologists, and neurologists (all tied at 3.88).
Just found your blog via a repost from STFUParents on Facebook. This is terrifically funny!
ReplyDeleteThe word for the day "Entitlement"
ReplyDeleteIt would be cool if comment section here had like buttons, several of your readers responses where really funny
You've got to be in California... I've never met more self absorbed people in one place!
ReplyDeletesouthgeek.blogspot.com
I'm a migraine sufferer, and, well, there's a reason I avoid movie theaters. I end up with the worst headaches from the theater environment, but then I end up sticking it out for the whole two hours because goddammit, I PAID to see this movie.
ReplyDeleteSo, it's a plausible scenario.
My problem is with the entitled attitude of the mother.
If Dr. G kicked out all the insane patients from his practice, the family would starve and Older Son would croak from Lack of Hair Gel.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen that movie? The camera work gave ME a headache, and I am not at all prone to headaches. They kept shaking it and whipping it around and zooming in for close ups. No medicine is a match for that.
ReplyDeleteThe ironic part is that the current ad at the top of DRItH today is for Migraine Treatment Centers of America. They seem to offer a "drug-free" cure for migraines. You could forward that on to the Mom. :0)
ReplyDeleteI get migranes, and like other posters, I would not be in a movie theater with them.
ReplyDeleteIs the drug she's taking and giving to her daughter one that has abuse potential?
Just wondering.
No, it wasn't a controlled drug at all.
ReplyDeleteWell there goes my theory.
ReplyDeleteI like to get high at the movies to, but I don't expect delivery service.
Perhaps tween's friends don't know that triptans aren't for tripping, and buy them off her anyway?
ReplyDeleteI know some fools were sharing their Accutane with girlfriends, saying that the pills worked as contraceptives "because they say you CAN'T get pregnant if you're taking these!"
It resulted in a whole new labeling requirement.....
this scenario suggests that several behavioral attributes are genetic
ReplyDelete