Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."
Dr. Launchpad: "Yeah, I'm the hospitalist working today, and I consulted you on Mrs. Sick."
Dr. Grumpy: "I saw her this morning. I think I ordered an MRI and some labs."
Dr. Launchpad: "You did! But that wasn't what you were supposed to do!"
Dr. Grumpy: "What was I supposed to do?"
Dr. Launchpad: "I wanted you to just write 'okay for discharge' so I could send her home!"
Dr. Grumpy: "Your note said 'consult neurology for confusion.' It didn't say anything about sending her home."
Dr. Launchpad: "I just wanted you to evaluate her, not order tests! I want to get her out of here."
Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, but ordering tests is a pretty common part of an evaluation."
Dr. Launchpad: "What does that have to do with it? I'm trying to send her home, and you've screwed it all up!"
I must know if the tests were positive!
ReplyDeleteGood gracious. How is every specialist not like "Dr." House, popping pills constantly?
Dr Launchpad was going to discharge a confused patient to home? Maybe he or she is the one who's confused...
ReplyDeleteI had NO IDEA you worked with Happy Hospitalist, Dr. Grumpy! :)
ReplyDeleteApparently part of being a neurologist means having the ability to read the minds and understand the unwritten intent of others.
ReplyDeleteYou screwed it all up by doing what you were supposed to do... Nice. What is wrong with you, trying to provide care for your patients?!?! For shame!
ReplyDeleteHe must have a "length of stay" incentive.
ReplyDeleteFor heavens sake Dr. Grumpy. You're not there to treat them! He just wants you to clear them for discharge, isn't that why we call a neuro consult?
ReplyDeleteAdminstration told Dr. Launchpad that Mrs. Sick's continued hospitalization is starting to eat into the profit from her DRGs.
ReplyDeleteGive him a break, he's just doing what his bosses told him to do.
Dr. Launchpad apparently has lost his patient care skills. You don't send home a confused patient without checking them out first! God forbid you do what is right and foul things up for him. What a douche....
ReplyDeleteLet me get this straight: He blames you for not being able to read his mind, while he still wants to cover his a$$ for sending Mrs. Sick home without taking the blame if something wrong is later discovered with her?
ReplyDeleteWhat an idiot.
solution- get specialist consults as part of the hospital care plan instead of the discharge plan.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like all of the hospitalists you work with are total douche bags. Sorry. I can assure that we are not all like that. Some of us still care.
ReplyDeleteKarl, MD, FHM
its like reading the house of god all over again in some ways.
ReplyDeleteonly except I didn't ready anything about gomers.
Just proves that there are idiots everywhere.
ReplyDeleteSo glad Mrs. Sick didn't get to go home. Probably her family would have sued Launchpad when she did something really stupid.
(I hope this wasn't your lady who's dog died.)
Ha!
ReplyDeleteHa!Ha!
Ha!Ha!Ha!
That's rich!
So is Mrs. Sick still taking up space or has she been kicked to the curb?
I just love stuff like this. You did your job - now look what you've gone and done! And I was depending on you!
What. An. Idiot.
ReplyDeleteOnce again you failed to grab the stick, so what if it is the dirty end.
ReplyDeletePoor lady.
ReplyDeleteHow incredibly rude of you, Dr. Grumpy, to screw up this man's day! Hang your head in shame!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a woman I know who, as a keen newly-garduate doctor, valiantly and with great difficultly reversed coma of an elderly diabetic patient, back in the days before DNR orders. Unbeknownst to her the woman had a great many other things wrong with her, including advanced dementia, and was overdue to shuffle off her mortal coil. When the senior geriatrician arrived on the ward in the morning he glared at the young doctor and growled "Excellent therapy, Dr Keen...but MISAPPLIED!"
ReplyDeleteHuh, I did not know that you worked at my hospital. Or, are ALL hospitalists that dumb?
ReplyDeleteI'd love to hear the end of this story. What did you tell Dr. Launchpad? Did it include any four letter words?
ReplyDeleteGrumpy:
ReplyDeleteYou know which docs are by far the worst where I am at????
Neurologists
It takes literally months to get an outpatient appt. Inpatient consults are completely worthless. I too can order an MRI without thinking. I can't even remember the last time a neurologist actually admitted one of their own patients. As a medicine subspecialist I long ago stopped consulting neurology. The crap called a neurology consult bordered on medicare fraud.