Ages ago I worked with a woman who one day told me that her husband did all the housework -- in return for her doing the cooking. He *hated* cooking and wasn't much for going out to dinner, so she cooked every night and he did every little bit of the housework.
I asked her if he had a brother.
She said, "Three, but only one is single. But you don't want him, he's a career criminal, in and out of jail."
I said, "If he does all the housework when he's out of jail, I'll take him!"
Many years ago when I was in grad school I came home one day to find my door kicked in. We've reconstructed what happened after the door breaking, and my burgler went into the kitchen, unloaded all my groceries (I hadn't had time to put away more than the cold stuff before my class), made himself several ham, swiss, and lettuce sandwiches (putting the bread and lettuce away, but leaving the meat and cheese out on the counter), then went through the bedroom to the bathroom (I live alone, and as a female, I never leave the seat up) tripping over the cat in the process, so that he fell and hit the memo/record switch on my answering machine. The cat had gone through the window in the bathroom onto the enclosed back porch, presumably to get away from the burgler. Feeling bad about tripping over the cat, the burgler turned the heat on on the porch (managing to melt the side of my good Coleman cooler, grrr!), and fed the cat before leaving.
The recording suggested that the guy had a really bad case of bronchitis, so we figure he was some homeless dude who figured that he could get warm and have some food, and if he was caught, he'd go to jail where he'd be warm and have some food.
He's marriage material!
ReplyDeleteBail money heck, I'm not even calling the police on him lol!
ReplyDeleteAges ago I worked with a woman who one day told me that her husband did all the housework -- in return for her doing the cooking. He *hated* cooking and wasn't much for going out to dinner, so she cooked every night and he did every little bit of the housework.
ReplyDeleteI asked her if he had a brother.
She said, "Three, but only one is single. But you don't want him, he's a career criminal, in and out of jail."
I said, "If he does all the housework when he's out of jail, I'll take him!"
Still sad she wouldn't hook me up with the guy...
Dad always was the one to do the dishes and laundry, since he didn't trust anybody else to do them to his standards.
ReplyDeleteI'll give you half the bail money if you'll share ....
ReplyDeleteMany years ago when I was in grad school I came home one day to find my door kicked in. We've reconstructed what happened after the door breaking, and my burgler went into the kitchen, unloaded all my groceries (I hadn't had time to put away more than the cold stuff before my class), made himself several ham, swiss, and lettuce sandwiches (putting the bread and lettuce away, but leaving the meat and cheese out on the counter), then went through the bedroom to the bathroom (I live alone, and as a female, I never leave the seat up) tripping over the cat in the process, so that he fell and hit the memo/record switch on my answering machine. The cat had gone through the window in the bathroom onto the enclosed back porch, presumably to get away from the burgler. Feeling bad about tripping over the cat, the burgler turned the heat on on the porch (managing to melt the side of my good Coleman cooler, grrr!), and fed the cat before leaving.
ReplyDeleteThe recording suggested that the guy had a really bad case of bronchitis, so we figure he was some homeless dude who figured that he could get warm and have some food, and if he was caught, he'd go to jail where he'd be warm and have some food.
He did take my walkman.