Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Your tax dollars at work

I, Dr. Grumpy, am not a cannibal. I have never been a cannibal, nor do I have any interest in being a cannibal.

In Oklahoma, however, an elected representative of the people (state Senator Ralph Shortey) has decided that eating human fetuses is a SERIOUS problem in America. If not now, it still could become one by, say, 2022.

So we need to act now to keep this from happening. Because, with all the other issues facing our society, people eating fetuses is apparently one of the bigger ones. At least to Mr. Shortey.

So he has, I SWEAR, introduced a bill to ban the practice of using human fetuses in food products.

Comically, he even admits that he's unaware of anyone actually doing this, but decided the law is needed because he researched the subject on the internet.

And we all know how accurate that is.

Thank you, Ed!
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36 comments:

  1. Mike LooneyJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:30 PM

    Some days it's hard to be from Oklahoma.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    But we'll still be able to use them as fertilizer, right?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    But what if you're playing catch with one and it accidentally hits you in the mouth and you accidentally swallow it?

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  4. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    Does a martini count as a "food product?"

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  5. MeganJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:55 PM

    Maybe Senator Shortey is really short, and afraid someone will mistake him for one?

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  6. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    Dammit, I KNEW that putting up that "I can haz human feetus?" lolcats site was a bad idea.

    ReplyDelete
  7. genaJanuary 25, 2012 at 1:46 PM

    Sorry, Oklahomans. Your tax dollars at work. (Or not, as the case may be.)

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    I could not stop laughing at (with?) Anonymous 11:52. I have tears running down my cheeks!

    How can someone who is so obviously a dumbwad be elected to the State Senate?

    ReplyDelete
  9. DonJanuary 25, 2012 at 2:30 PM

    Most of my co-workers surf the net when they have a medical concern, rather than going to the doctor, and these are intelligent men and women working in engineering.
    I trust that the doctor knows more, although I get a little nervous when I see WebMD magazine in his waiting room.

    ReplyDelete
  10. thethingspatientssayJanuary 25, 2012 at 2:33 PM

    I've grown so accustomed to the taste it would be a shame to lose it now. Isn't this how "New Coke" came about?

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  11. JoAnna WahlundJanuary 25, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    Actually, it's very real:

    http://healthfreedoms.org/2011/06/01/aborted-fetal-tissue-used-to-test-new-food-additives/

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 4:05 PM

    Will fetuses that were already conceived when the law goes into effect be grandfathered in? I need to know so I can plan accordingly.

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  13. Tim from TulsaJanuary 25, 2012 at 4:08 PM

    Great. So now, every time I want to eat food containing human fetuses, I'm going to have to drive all the way up to freaking Wichita?

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  14. ERPJanuary 25, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    JoAnna, are you a complete loon?

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  15. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 5:19 PM

    There was some big deal a while back about a Pepsi using aborted fetal cell lines in testing. But no one is actually eating aborted fetal cells. Also, my understanding is that it's one cell line from one fetus way back when, and the same cell line has simply been cloned since. *shrug*

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  16. Bob@thenestJanuary 25, 2012 at 5:43 PM

    So, the cost in Texas is going to drastically drop due to oversupply, correct? I'll have to see if that's a traded commodity -- may be a great deal coming up!

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  17. MooseJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:33 PM

    Well, as someone who was raised in the Jewish faith, I have it on good authority from Christians who grew up in the middle of frikkin nowhere that I know well the yummy, yummy taste of Christian babies.

    I do love small children, but I cannot eat a whole one at one sitting.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 8:06 PM

    Perhaps JoAnna is the one who introduce the bill. Apparently cell line and an aborted fetus are the same thing.

    I wish it was people like JoAnna's tax dollars that were sponsoring this bill, and not ours.

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  19. WendyJanuary 25, 2012 at 8:24 PM

    Doesn't bother me if they test food additives with a cell line.

    If it bothers you, then don't eat that food, and leave me out of it. You worry about your own food supply, and I'll worry about mine.

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  20. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 10:05 PM

    Oh my goodness you have me laughing so hard I scared my dog. That's the craziest shit I ever heard. He READ it on-line and now wants to pass a law. Damn I think I wet myself laughing

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  21. clairesmumJanuary 25, 2012 at 10:29 PM

    ed is your office fish, right? now he is getting his facts from the internet too?
    and yes, this is our tax dollars at work....but we do have term limits...folks in Oklahoma - vote him OUT, please!

    ReplyDelete
  22. LizJanuary 25, 2012 at 10:38 PM

    Yes, HealthFreedoms looks like an unbiased website. Huh.

    ReplyDelete
  23. JoAnna WahlundJanuary 25, 2012 at 11:18 PM

    ERP, what do you mean? Why am I a loon?

    A cell line derived from an aborted child still exploits the child. There are ethical alternatives to these cells but the companies in question (e.g., Senomyx) refuse to use them. I find that abhorrent.

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  24. AnonymousJanuary 26, 2012 at 1:09 AM

    Rear-view mirror ornaments are still okay, though?

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  25. AnonymousJanuary 26, 2012 at 1:12 AM

    If food products containing human fetuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have food products containing human fetuses.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Mrs JJanuary 26, 2012 at 2:56 AM

    LOL Moose, that was bad!

    ReplyDelete
  27. LedasmomJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:29 AM

    Well, if the cell lines can be maintained in the lab, can the entirely lab-grown fetusburger be far behind? I'll have mine with bacon, please. Turkey bacon.

    ReplyDelete
  28. DocVJanuary 26, 2012 at 11:33 AM

    " Soylent Green is made out of people!"


    Anybody remember that movie?

    DocV

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  29. Grumpy, M.D.January 26, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    Jon- that's why I picked the year 2022.

    ReplyDelete
  30. a.generic docJanuary 26, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    Did he base this on some updated version of "A Modest Proposal"?

    ReplyDelete
  31. DocVJanuary 26, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    Must remember to check links before posting...

    DocV

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  32. AmiJanuary 27, 2012 at 8:56 AM

    I was under the impression this was a tactic to try to make stem cell research illegal.

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2012 at 6:56 PM

    When the one Die Hard movie came out, it featured Glock pistols that were made of a porcelain compound vs. metal, and thus were undetectable by metal detectors.

    Soon afterwards, a bill was introduced in the US Congress banning (or severely restricting) these weapons. I believe it passed, though I would have to check.

    Of course, they don't exist. I wish I could tell you that this is the only case of Congress making laws for stuff that doesn't exist. But not by a longshot.

    I would assume there's laws against using your Phaser on "kill".

    ReplyDelete
  34. AnonymousJanuary 28, 2012 at 7:08 AM

    I grew up in OK. There used to be three perfectly good state mental hospitals there, but apparently it's cheaper to send them to the Lege.

    Tim, bet you can score in Caney. That's where my mom and her friend used to go for liquor, back when dry meant dry. They'd pack up seven children and a couple tons of laundry -- amazing what you can fit in those baskets.

    -- littlefoot

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  35. AnonymousJanuary 28, 2012 at 10:25 PM

    JoAnna,

    What's your opinion on HeLa?

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2012 at 6:35 AM

    I know exactly why he's doing it: "Well my opponent actually opposed a ban on the use of aborted fetuses in food products..."

    Politics - do it for the sound bites.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?