I've got a junkie over in the ICU, who overdosed on a bunch of stuff yesterday. She was on a ventilator (a breathing machine) this morning, but they were going to see if she improved enough today to get her off it.
So I called over there a minute ago to talk to her nurse:
Dr. Grumpy: "How'd she do this morning?"
Nurse Icu: "She's more awake, and we got her off the ventilator, but may have to put her back on again."
Dr. Grumpy: "Why? Is she still having trouble breathing?"
Nurse Icu: "No, she's just a bitch."
That can't be...people are always so pleasant when they come off the vent.
ReplyDeletehttp://goo.gl/gzEky
AHAHHAHAHAHA excellent plan nurse ICU
ReplyDeleteYep, those overdose-prone patients win "Nicest patient" reward in my pharmacy daily. Especially the ones who get discharged from hospital post over-dose and then yell (!) for an early refill of said substances. And the answer is always: 'No'.
ReplyDeletehahahahaha that is the BEST reason - if ONLY we could do that to our patients that are rude/ignorant/jerks/loud mouths/dick heads/assholes/bitches or any other thing that we don't like come out of their mouths!!!
ReplyDeleteBTW, everyone that I've told about your "mr. awesome" LOVES LOVES LOVES your story!!!! hahahaha, it really IS great for a laugh! Especially since I work on a neurology unit!
Cool plan! Tell her "Every time you say the f-word, your lips go blue!"
ReplyDeletethis is why some minor surgeries require general anesthesia.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!! BT,DT, know the feeling and can sympathize completely!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL! As a nurse, I can't tell you how many patients I'd like to do that to. Too bad we can't keep all the addicts and alcoholics ventilated and sedated till they're finished with withdrawal/dt's. Might actually be more humane for them as well, if they'd stay off the junk once they are discharged.
ReplyDeletethe best pts are the vents!
ReplyDeleteHaving been on a vent and not a drug addict, I can attest it is not a fun experience.
ReplyDeleteBut if keeping the unpleasant pts on a vent will help my care (MDs and RNs happier) I am all for it!
We want to do that to people at my place of employment too. And we're a computer company. :)
ReplyDeleteAfter working in a vent unit for years it took me a while to adjust to patients who could talk. But vent patients can communicate too remember,it just takes longer to read lips. And the words "bed pan" and " bad pain" look a lot alike when you're reading lips. Let to a bit of confusion at times
ReplyDeleteThis just goes to prove that extubation should be grounds for automatic discharge....
ReplyDeleteHAVE TO SAY, COMPUTER COMPANY, YOU HAVE AN IDEA THERE.....
ReplyDeleteHOPING FOR DAY WHEN VENT "THERAPY" AVAILABLE IN CLINIC (OUTPATIENT) SETTING.
LOVE THOSE ICU NURSES, THEY ARE THE BEST
Oh.. just like the drunk teenager who, immediately upon taking him off the vent, began cussing at me, (his nurse), and then threw his c-collar at me. My attending looked at me and said, "Hmmm.. perhaps we should have waited to extubate.." haha.
ReplyDeleteBitchy, huh? Nothing a little "Mama's Milk" cant solve (Diprivan) haha
ReplyDelete