Saturday, December 3, 2011

Science, or something like that

Were you a perfectly straight heterosexual until you learned to drive, and then, upon getting your license, immediately developed an uncontrollable attraction for your own sex and switched to the other team?

Did you find that handling the steering wheel all-by-yourself made you want to start wildly screwing everything in site and use porn (I think I did, but it likely had more to do with 16 year-old-boy-hormones than my 1978 Datsun 810 station wagon).

In a stunning discovery, the highest religious council of Saudi Arabia has actually discovered these "facts," with a new report warning that if Saudi woman are allowed to drive the population will turn to homosexuality, prostitution, and pornography. It also noted that within 10 years of the ban being lifted, the nation would completely run out of virgins (REALLY!).

Read more here.

Thank you, P!
at

20 comments:

  1. Sara L. UckelmanDecember 3, 2011 at 10:05 AM

    You'd think that with the increased sexuality that lifting such a ban would bring that there would consequently be a lot more (very young) virgins.

    [tongue firmly in cheek!]

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  2. AnonymousDecember 3, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    Yeah, as if virginity is even the natural resource that keeps the world paying attention to Saudi Arabia.

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  3. AnonymousDecember 3, 2011 at 10:35 AM

    Well duh. Of course the virgins would disappear. They would all drive away from their abusive families and go get laid.

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  4. Officer CynicalDecember 3, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Prostitutes in cars, handing out pornography and picking up guys in coffee shops. Count me in!

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  5. Ole Phat StuDecember 3, 2011 at 1:58 PM

    Gives a hole(sic!) new meaning to "tailgating" ;-)

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  6. Cthulhu SashimiDecember 3, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    That's why you always see the lowest levels of homosexuality, prostitution, and pornography in dense cities that are walkable and well-served by mass transit, e.g., New York, San Francisco, Amsterdam, Berlin...

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  7. Mike LooneyDecember 3, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    Don't forget women wearing immodest clothing causes earthquakes.

    Granted that was Iran, but same mindset.

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  8. LizDecember 3, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    NO VIRGINS?! You mean all the women will be having and even -gasp- ENJOYING sex?!? No wonder everyone is so worried! -.-

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  9. no-oneDecember 3, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    By that logic, shouldn't the country already be filled with gay male porn-reading prostitues?

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  10. BarbDecember 3, 2011 at 8:46 PM

    The possibility that even a fraction of the population of Saudi Arabia would believe this crap is scary. And, they call America "The Evil Empire"???

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  11. The Quirked EyebrowDecember 3, 2011 at 10:47 PM

    Aren't they being married off before they would be old enough to drive? :P

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  12. LadybugAuDecember 4, 2011 at 2:12 AM

    Whoa! Those Saudi women have some seriously awesome powers.

    While I don't agree with Muslim teachings, its douchecanoes, highest order douchecanoes, like this that give believers a bad name.

    The stupidity in this story is headache inducing. Why aren't they laughed out of power?

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  13. jimbo26December 4, 2011 at 5:50 AM

    In the report Professor Subhi described sitting in a coffee shop in an unnamed Arab state.
    ‘All the women were looking at me,’ he wrote. ‘One made a gesture that made it clear she was available... this is what happens when women are allowed to drive.’

    In his dreams .

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  14. AnonymousDecember 4, 2011 at 6:42 AM

    That's actually pretty evolved of them, to consider lesbian acts as equally offensive devirginizing.

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  15. AnonymousDecember 4, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    Don't listen to the narrative of this, but instead watch these two jokers on Thanksgiving Day.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzlg3oQMze4

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  16. AnonymousDecember 4, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    You know, since I got my licence 12 years ago I have become a rampaging sex addict who stars in pornos. I also traffic drugs, I've been married 9 times and invented a time machine so I could go back and cause the NZ earthquake. I was wearing a bikini and red stiletttoes. I did wonder what the trigger point was in my life, thank you Saudi Arabia for clearing that up.

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  17. cliffintokyoDecember 5, 2011 at 4:41 AM

    Awsum! With 'officer cynical' here.
    Moving to the middle east asap.

    WV: fistize
    The only drawback is that women have fathers who have formidable left hooks when enraged....

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  18. puzzledDecember 5, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    So the Saudi men who drive are all homosexuals and prostitutes? Strange country. I suppose their all into pornography, too. That explains why the women keep their faces covered. I'd be embarrassed, too.

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  19. AnonymousDecember 6, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    Ah the delightful variability of the human mind...what one can rationalize to defend one's view of the world...from Jon Stewart..to Fox News to this delightful piece from Saudi Arabia.

    BLINDERS ON! FULL SPEED AHEAD!! W00T!!

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  20. History DocDecember 8, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    Yes, and women driving leads to pestilence, famine and earthquakes, too.

    But running out of virgins is far worse.

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So wadda you think?