Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I'm thinking sterilization...

Mrs. Rock: "I don't want to start any new medications. I've been taking Clomid, and am trying to become pregnant."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay."

Mrs. Rock: "I've been on it for 2 months now, and it still hasn't worked."

Dr. Grumpy: "Has your husband been checked out?"

Mrs. Rock: "Oh, he's overseas for the year."

Dr. Grumpy: "Then, um, why are you taking Clomid?"

Mrs. Rock: "So I can get pregnant. That's what Clomid does. This way I can get pregnant without a guy."
at

45 comments:

  1. ER's MomNovember 30, 2011 at 7:12 AM

    Criminy, what a dumb doc not to ask about male factors...

    ReplyDelete
  2. RiverNovember 30, 2011 at 7:37 AM

    They just get dumber and dumber...

    ReplyDelete
  3. AmandaNovember 30, 2011 at 7:38 AM

    I always reply to your posts in my head with "Shut the hell up"

    ReplyDelete
  4. Li'l AzathothNovember 30, 2011 at 7:41 AM

    "Like in that movie where the woman got pregnant from the midichlorians. That's what Clomid is, right?"

    ReplyDelete
  5. HavenNovember 30, 2011 at 8:06 AM

    This is going to be a very unpleasant revelation for a lot of christians.

    ReplyDelete
  6. HeatherNovember 30, 2011 at 8:22 AM

    ...now *that's* what I call advances in pharmacology.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 8:23 AM

    I hope her future kids aren't as stupid as she clearly is. ~Francine

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    My first thought was that she was cheating on her soldier-hubby...

    I'm not sure which option I like best for the sake of humanity.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MalNovember 30, 2011 at 8:36 AM

    So did you explain the birds and the bees to her, or are you going to leave that to her fertility specialist?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Grumpy, M.D.November 30, 2011 at 8:39 AM

    I'm just a simple neurologist, ma'am.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    "But why are you asking me all these medical questions anyway? You're a neurologist; aren't you just supposed to fix my car?"

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    maybe she's trying to do "self insemination"?

    ReplyDelete
  13. OutreNovember 30, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    I have no words, in fact some of my neurons have self-destructed from the stupid.

    On the other hand, I guess the Virgin Mary was taking Clomid.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Neuroscience PhDNovember 30, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    I don't think humans have worked out parthenogenesis yet. Lucky for us.

    ReplyDelete
  15. SuFu PhDNovember 30, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    Please don't explain anything to her. Just let it ride and pray that she doesn't further the genetic degradation of the human race.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LizardNovember 30, 2011 at 10:33 AM

    I want to make her stop (though having taken clomid, which is horrible, it's kind of hilarious that she's going through it for nothing) but what I really want to do is find the doc who prescribed it for her and at minimum mock them mercilessly

    ReplyDelete
  17. PackerNovember 30, 2011 at 11:03 AM

    I just joined ranks with her, because I just can't figure this out. Oh, and my speach is slurred and my left leg is dragging. WOW !!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Solitary Diner (Also Known as The Frugalish Physician)November 30, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Ignorance of reproduction is a sort of self-sterilization. Go Darwin.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    And this is why sex ed is so important in school. Nobody should be this ignorant about their own body and how it works.

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    Hail Mary!

    ReplyDelete
  21. K-KoiraNovember 30, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    At least this means we will probably never have to be subject to children from this woman...

    ReplyDelete
  22. bobbieNovember 30, 2011 at 12:27 PM

    Anyone that stupid SHOULDN'T be allowed to reproduce!

    ReplyDelete
  23. OldSquidNovember 30, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    My favorite retort:

    Mrs.Rock, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    ReplyDelete
  24. A Doc 2 BeNovember 30, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    Too bad evolution is not reversible or the "encouragement" of Darwin's theory not legal.

    Wowser!

    ReplyDelete
  25. CateNovember 30, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    I just laughed out loud in clinic. Did you disavow her of that notion or is she still hoping for an immaculate conception?

    ReplyDelete
  26. dr lasermedNovember 30, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    rock, as in "dumb as"?

    Unfortunately, we see this in GYN a lot. No understanding of cycles, fertility, etc. "I haven't had sex since...." But the baby is 2 months less than that.

    Love your names for patients. I try to immitate, but still don't have the nack.

    ReplyDelete
  27. TeeNovember 30, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Oh dear. Dr. Grumpy, how do you manage to keep a straight face when talking to these people?

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 4:56 PM

    Old Squid, thanks for the laugh! Iove that movie!

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    The bad news: You can't cure stupid.
    The good news: You can't clone it either.

    And I guess she's also blissfully unaware of the fact that she is presently at risk of getting "Clomidia"?

    ReplyDelete
  30. MedWriterNovember 30, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    As someone who's done one fresh cycle and one frozen cycle of IVF (resulting each in 1 kid, yay!) this really tickles my funny bone. Maybe Dr. Grumpy can fix that :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    I'm a new fan- and pray tell Dr. Grumpy, is this the STUPIDEST thing a patient has ever told you or where does it fit into your top ten?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Grumpy, M.D.November 30, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    I gave up keep tracking years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    I wonder if she ordered it online. I pity the hubby who comes home to quadruplets after she has a fling.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Sue DenyhmNovember 30, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    I guess The Church has been keeping this secret from us for some 2000+ years.

    ReplyDelete
  35. FrankCNovember 30, 2011 at 7:45 PM

    Maybe hubby writes very passionate letters?

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 12:24 AM

    Please tell us you made this up...for the sake of humanity, PLEASE lie to us and say that this level of stupidity does not exisit!

    ReplyDelete
  37. MockingbirdDecember 1, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Mrs, Rock, you must use the turkey baster with the Clomid, you can't just take it orally.

    ReplyDelete
  38. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    what a waste of opposable thumbs...

    ReplyDelete
  39. Technically InsaneDecember 2, 2011 at 8:48 PM

    Please tell me she knew we hadnt advance that far in science!

    ReplyDelete
  40. clairesmumDecember 2, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    Mrs. Rock as in John Rock, one of the inventors of "the Pill"?
    Clomid is nasty stuff - chronic PMS and THEN you get your period - and in her case it may really have damaged her brain permanently!
    darwinism in action, i guess.

    ReplyDelete
  41. AnonymousDecember 3, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    ROFLOL @ Mockingbird.

    ReplyDelete
  42. OB studentDecember 3, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    That is some powerful drug. She'd better be careful not to take it after she gets pregnant. Then her fetus may get pregnant as well. Scheiße this could become an infinite loop of pregnancies inside one uterus.

    ReplyDelete
  43. The Quirked EyebrowDecember 3, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Be afraid ~ she wants to breed. :P

    ReplyDelete
  44. VickiDecember 6, 2011 at 6:51 PM

    I can believe this. I had a roommate whose husband was still in Taiwan, and she kept getting upset because she wasn't getting pregnant!

    ReplyDelete
  45. AnonymousDecember 6, 2011 at 10:46 PM

    OMFG...I'm not much of an environmenalist, but c'mon...there's gotta be some kind of contamination out there producing these mutations. I am convinced we could not have survived through the centuries with this level of ignorance and stupidity that exists today. I'm not sure some of these people wouldn't become confused and run toward, not away from a rabid animal.

    I had a patient the other day come in complaining that her medication tasted disgusting and made her mouth feel "all greasy". It was a suppository.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?