Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Mary's Desk

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Reverend Bully: "Yes, this is Reverend Bully, and I need to make an appointment."

Mary: "Okay, what's your insurance?"

Reverend Bully: "Major Illness HMO."

Mary: "Okay, we'll need a referral from your internist, but let me schedule you... We can see you on Friday, at 11:00."

Reverend Bully: "I need to be worked in today."

Mary: "Okay... we don't have anything today. Did your internist speak to Dr. Grumpy about this?"

Reverend Bully: "No, but God told me I needed to be worked in today."

Mary: "All right, but..."

Reverend Bully: "This is God referring me! You can't say no!"

Mary: "Okay, then have God either fax us a referral or talk to Dr. Grumpy personally."
at

31 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 26, 2011 at 8:09 AM

    I wanna be like Mary when I grow up :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. ER's MomOctober 26, 2011 at 8:35 AM

    Mary is awesome.

    So did you work him in? ;)

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  3. Solitary Diner (Also Known as The Frugalish Physician)October 26, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    Reverend Bully should come to my hospital, where "getting worked in" means seeing within two weeks. A last-minute same week appointment is unheard of!

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  4. Grumpy, M.D.October 26, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    I'd have worked him in if the referral source had contacted me, but she didn't.

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  5. PackerOctober 26, 2011 at 9:06 AM

    Nobody stand too close to Mary today.

    These people amaze, they put a stupid grin on my face every single day.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DianaOctober 26, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    I love Mary.

    ReplyDelete
  7. MWOctober 26, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    For.

    The.

    WIN.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MooseOctober 26, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Mary rules the universe.

    Now I am wondering if God has a fax machine, or is he an old-skool luddite?

    ReplyDelete
  9. thethingspatientssayOctober 26, 2011 at 10:05 AM

    God emails me, but he mostly forwards funny cat pictures and the like.

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  10. AnonymousOctober 26, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    @Moose - God is a technogeek. He can do wireless, machineless messages if necessary. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bob@thenestOctober 26, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    So, could you just hook up a feed directly from the phone to a streaming source? It would be a subscription worth paying for!

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  12. AnonymousOctober 26, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    My family is not a religious family...we are very, very secular. One day our doorbell rang on a Sunday morning, about 45 minutes before a local church was about to be begin. It was the pastor of the church (mind you, he has no education in this stuff, he just decided to rent space in a public building and say it was his church) and he wanted us to know that God hold told him that he was to invite us to church that day and he really hoped we'd go. Yeah. We smiled and politely told him we had other plans. The next week he stopped by because God had told him to bring us some bread. The week after that he called because God told him to ask us for money so he could go on a mission trip. The next week God told him the ask us for a donation so he could buy some land and a building for his church. His number is in my phone's address book so I won't answer it if he calls and I no longer answer my door on Sunday mornings without first creeping to a window to see who it is!

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  13. ERPOctober 26, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    Let me guess, he's possessed or something that an EMG will cure?

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  14. AnonymousOctober 26, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    I love Mary.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousOctober 26, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    I guess you don't learn that is She in Yak herder school.


    And She did speak to me (so I need the good Dr. or one of his Psy friends) and She is amused.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Frantic PharmacistOctober 26, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    If you get that referral on a stone tablet, be sure to post us a picture!

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  17. dr lasermedOctober 26, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    I love Mary.

    My receptionist is taking lessons.

    Did the fax go off?

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousOctober 26, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    I love Mary, and I love Doctor Grumpy for knowing that deity in question is a "she".

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousOctober 26, 2011 at 8:07 PM

    People like that give God a bad name...

    ReplyDelete
  20. VickiOctober 26, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    Thank you, Dr. Grumpy, for giving me a smile! I was in tears over family problems when I got my email from you today, and your humor has dried up my tears!

    ReplyDelete
  21. woolywomanOctober 26, 2011 at 10:30 PM

    i heart
    mary

    ReplyDelete
  22. LeslieOctober 26, 2011 at 11:45 PM

    I had a patient once tell me that something bad was going to happen to someone who had wronged him. I jumped in and said, "I want to make sure you know that if you tell me you are going to hurt this guy, I need to call the police." He said, "It's not me." I said, "If you tell me a friend will hurt him, I need to call the police." He pointed up and said, "GOD is going to punish him!" I decided the state police had no jurisdiction over God.

    ReplyDelete
  23. cliffintokyoOctober 27, 2011 at 5:48 AM

    I am on the edge of my seat with excitement waiting to see your post about the referral call from Her!

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  24. Street PhilosopherOctober 27, 2011 at 7:06 AM

    Sorry...don't post that last comment. Fu** Mary is awesome. Holy moly, what a superb hire.

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  25. AnonymousOctober 27, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    Mary is the bomb...reminds me of Radar on MASH combined with Hot Lips "My guts aren't here for you to love" Hoolihan.

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousOctober 27, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    If you ever piss Mary off or if she quits, you will be sunk. Your zoo of a practice needs Mary to ride herd on them.

    ReplyDelete
  27. terri cOctober 27, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    You and Mary are wonderful! Did that referral come through yet?

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  28. AnonymousOctober 27, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    'I'm sorry, but we've already worked in patients for Zeus, Thor, Mithras, Ra and Shiva. We simply can't work in any more.'

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousOctober 28, 2011 at 2:06 AM

    so did you get to talk to GOD doc?!

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  30. AnonymousOctober 28, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    Price-----less
    score- Mary 1
    bully 0

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousNovember 11, 2011 at 11:07 PM

    I say again; Mary deserves a raise, or champagne, or something nice.
    How the hell did you find someone that good?

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?