Thursday, October 13, 2011

Germ theory

Mr. Irritant: "Did you just wash your hands?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, yeah. You watched me."

Mr. Irritant: "That's pretty damn insulting. So you think I'm dirty?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No. I wash my hands after every patient, sir. It's good practice."

Mr. Irritant: "That's bullshit. I didn't come here to be treated like a second-class person."

22 comments:

  1. Love those empowered patients.

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  2. he should have attended my hygiene class (love med school so much....) today.. we learned it's good to wash hands and dont touch disgusting stuff with our bare hands..

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  3. "Oppressed masses of the world, unite! First we got that bastard Edward Jenner, and now we're going after Ignaz Semmelweis! Watch out, William Harvey and Louis Pasteur, 'cuz you're next!"

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  4. Dr Grumpy - are you sure that you aren't a pretend psychiatrist?

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  5. "I didn't come here to be treated like a second-class person"

    Oh yeah, where do you usually go?

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  6. "You think I'm a dirty little boy, don't you, Dr. Grumpy? A dirty, nasty, filthy, horrible little boy! Say it! Tell me how dirty I am..."

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  7. You should have given him MRSA. Maybe then he would understand.
    ok... probably not.

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  8. "I didn't come here to be treated like a second-class person! I came here to spread disease!"

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  9. "You're say my bacteria aren't good enough for ya?"

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  10. I came here to catch some MRSA and VRE!

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  11. Why don't you wash your hands at the beginning of the appointment with your patients?

    That way, they know your hands are clean before you touch them.

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  12. In my pharmacy school communications class, the instructor said that by washing your hands before the exam sends the subliminal message, "I'm washing my hands FOR you". When practitioners washed their hands at the end, the patients perceived the action as meaning they were dirty. Still, I just can't imagine examining a patient, then waiting until the next patient to wash your hands...too many objects/surfaces would be touched between patients. Maybe washing both before AND after would be satisfactory.

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  13. No, no you have it all wrong, it is cold and flu season and I was feeling a little sniffly this AM and I want to make sure I didn't pass anything to you.

    God, Grumpy we need to teach you everything, especially the quick lie.
    Elements: No No --denial you have it all wrong---correction. I was feeling a little sniffly---get the sympathy ---I wanted to make sure I didn't pass---showing the value of the paitent.

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  14. OK, so you are fine with me rubbing the last patient's germs all over you?

    captcha - poospi, what came off the last patient

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  15. I once was questioned by a patient as to why I was washing my entire hands instead of just my fingers since I only touched her with my fingers.

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  16. Actually best Infection control is to wash before and after. I helps prevent contaminating surfaces with nasty 'gifts' and from infecting yourself by washing after and by washing before you cut the spread of bacteria picked up from surfaces to the patient.

    But given that infection control studies have shown that medical staff on average don't even wash once per patient, I'll take either or

    Kay

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  17. I actually like it when doctors wash their hands before they touch me. i know that they are at least clean then.

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  18. Agree w/ anon 2:14 and 3:30- please wash hands FOR the pt! So this one time, I was, um, well, doin stuff with this guy...and when we were done, he washed his hands!!! Like I was dirty or something! (And I am/was the biggest prude except that one day in college.) I was insulted. I know he didn't mean to insult me, I just felt that way. Maybe hand sanitizer in the hallway after the pt and then wash hands before in front of them?

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  19. "Fine, see the front desk to take care of payment on the way out. Good day!"

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  20. I wash before and after. I work in endocrine, so lots of diabetic foot exams. Sorry if they are offended, but I'm washing my hands after touching feet.

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  21. Ya see what we in health arena have to put up with every day. It's like health care is in a foreign land, far far away, inaccessible to the average person and so our patients depend on voodoo and magic potions unless they've been allowed an audience with the person behind the curtain for the price of a small fee.

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  22. "Okay then, I'll treat you like a third class person, and wipe the previous patient's germs all over you."

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So wadda you think?