Sunday, October 16, 2011

All Quiet on the Western Front

He stood there, shell shocked, with a thousand yard stare
In the last 48 hours he'd survived unspeakable horrors, but never left his station
Now, I needed to talk to him.
I didn't want to, but only he could answer my question.
I'd rather have left him alone.

He was like you and me until recently
But now front-line combat had turned him into a broken shell
Clothes disheveled, hair uncombed, hands shaking
An unlit cigarette hung from his quivering lips

But he was still a man with job to do
As I began speaking to him he summoned his composure
And softly answered my question
"Sorry, sir," he said "We're all out of the iPhone 4s."
at

15 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 16, 2011 at 10:42 AM

    And that is why I pre-ordered mine. On the other hand, I am upset that I get my phone a week late because of it. Ah well, the price you pay for a guarantee.

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  2. AnonymousOctober 16, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    HehHehHeh......too funny! Thanks!

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  3. Sheri WOctober 16, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    Dr. Grumpy, I love your blog and read your posts almost everyday. I do have to say, however that I wish you hadn't made light of the "shellshock" and post traumatic stress disorder that is devastating the lives of so many of our military and their families. As the wife of a combat vet affect by PTSD, I have greatly enjoyed your posts on history and military topics and I hope that by commenting I can encourage you to post more carefully in the future.
    Thank you again for a great blog overall!

    Sheri W

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  4. Grumpy, M.D.October 16, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Sheri, I'm sorry. I meant no offense, and certainly understand the seriousness of the real disorder.

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  5. UnknownOctober 16, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    Brilliant, having read the novel I love the parody. And having worked retail for a long time prior to nursing, we often felt that way especially at the holidays

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  6. SuFu PhDOctober 16, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    I'm guessing Sheri has never worked retail on the day after Thanksgiving. I worked at a clothing store for a few years and you came out of there with a nervous tick and very depressed with the future of human de-evolution. I saw a lady punch a guy to get the last pair of 42x32 Tommy Hillfiger pants for her kid. Was pretty sad, but I got a good chuckle when he came to complain to me and I told him he should work on keeping his left arm up to stop the right cross. Needless to say that was very near to my last day working there.

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  7. Captain FoulenoughOctober 16, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    What it's like to own an Apple product.

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  8. AnonymousOctober 16, 2011 at 9:25 PM

    Combat (wounded) vet and PTSD'eur. No problems here. Lighten up, Frances.

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  9. AnonymousOctober 16, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Oh you young people. Don't recall the "Cabbage Patch Doll" craze?
    Got a good laugh watching some store manager on TV (Not YouTube) swinging something at a horde of frantic shoppers.
    My then-husband was the asst. manager of a discount department store and suffered through that. NOT quite PTSD (I have military relatives with that and it is NOT funny) but I do admit he had a long stare after a frantic day.
    All jobs have their stresses/

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  10. LizOctober 16, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    I have clinically diagnosed PTSD from domestic abuse. The abuse and the psychological trauma pretty much tore my life apart. Years later, I'm finally picking everything up. It's not easy.

    Why am I mentioning this? Because I'm 18, most of my friends have iPhones, and I think the whole thing is utterly ridiculous.

    Good job on the dark humor, Dr. G. Gave me a good laugh to start my week :)

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  11. cliffintokyoOctober 17, 2011 at 4:55 AM

    Perhaps you could get a new lawnmower instead....more useful??

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  12. PackerOctober 17, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    I suggested to my son that I print bumper stickers that read: My Smart Phone is Smarter than your Smart Phone.

    He suggested I make an app that could send bumper stickers . Oy.

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  13. AlexisOctober 17, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    Ha ha ha.

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  14. TrishOctober 17, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    I'm with the other posters concerning the PTSD. Yeah, it's serious, but so is cancer, AIDS, and every other thing that makes life suck. But when you can no longer appreciate humor, even dark - then you've got more problems than the person WITH the life-sucking ailment.

    I'm in the surgical dept of the German hospital that receives the combat wounded from downrange - and you've haven't seen ugly or depressing or hopeless unless you've seen this crap we see. Humor is the only thing gets us thru the day sometimes.

    He wasn't mocking PTSD victims (then you'd have something to complain about), so lighten up a little. Life CAN be worse and suck more than you can imagine. God, I'm sick of the political correctness police every time you open your mouth. DOC - the post was fine.

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  15. AlysiaOctober 17, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    My boyfriend works for AT&T, and I can tell you that you are by far the least annoying type of customer come iphone release day. Anyone that would rather leave him alone is okay in his book. The people that show up at 8 pm and start yelling because there are no phones left and they "DESERVE" a phone are the ones that make him stabby.

    He went in at 6:30 that morning and came home at 9:30 that night. Good times!

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So wadda you think?