Friday, September 16, 2011

I'll take your word on this one

Mrs. Epistaxis: "Sorry I'm a few minutes late. My mom had a bad nosebleed, and I had to drop her off at the ER."

Dr. Grumpy: "I hope she'll be okay."

Mrs. Epistaxis: "It was a mess. Here's a picture." (whips out iPhone with gory picture).

Dr. Grumpy: "That's okay, I believe you. How have you been?"

Mrs. Epistaxis: "I also have the kitchen towel she was using in my purse here..." (starts digging in purse)
at

11 comments:

  1. thethingspatientssaySeptember 16, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    "And here's the cut on my knuckle where I punched her to start the nosebleed."

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 16, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me this was NOT your first patient today.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. webhillSeptember 16, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    At least it's not as bad as my clients...

    Mrs. Dung: So, he's been having diarrhea.

    Dr. Webhill: OK. Is it completely liquid or just soft or somewhere in between?

    Mrs. Dung: Here, I brought some with me (whips out baggie closed with twist tie containing grass, gravel, and what looks like chocolate syrup).

    Dr. Webhill: That's ok. How often is he having it?

    Mrs. Dung: Well, let's see (whips out 7 more baggies) here's one from each time he's gone since 6 AM today...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Andy SymsSeptember 16, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    @webhill: I think I'm about to lose my lunch. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousSeptember 16, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    It's as if she thinks she's in grade school and has to document why she is tardy. Yeesh.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousSeptember 16, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    Please, keep your biohazardous waste to yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  7. PackerSeptember 16, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    PERSONALLY, I think the I Phone ranks right up there with intermitent windshield wipers as being among mans greatest inventions. We can now document mom's bloody nose.

    I love you Grumpy, you make me feel like a semi normal type.

    ReplyDelete
  8. genaSeptember 16, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    This ranks right up there with people who insist on shoving the carton of sour milk under your nose. "No, SMELL IT." Y'know what? That face you made is convincing enough for me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The DuchessSeptember 16, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    Thank you ma'am, that smell certainly explains the coppery smell that accompanied your entrance. Excuse me while I step out and throw up now!

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousSeptember 16, 2011 at 7:11 PM

    Ick! Did you immediately regret shaking her hand?

    ReplyDelete
  11. MalSeptember 17, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    TMI! Now comes with official documentation, visual aids, and physical evidence!

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?