Monday, August 1, 2011

Sunday afternoon

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Mike: "Hi, this is Mike Hormone. You saw my girlfriend a few weeks ago for a left arm injury? She had a lot of trouble using her arm? I was with her at the appointment?"

Dr. Grumpy: "What can I do for you?"

Mike: "Well, she's getting a lot better, like you said she would and, um, I..."

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes?"

Mike: "Is there anything that might, like slow down her recovery? Not a lot, 'cause she's my girlfriend and all, but maybe just make it take longer?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Um, we're trying to get her better."

Mike: "Yeah, but she can use the arm for almost everything now, and when it was really weak she had me come in the shower to shampoo her hair for her, and that sort of got things going if you know what I mean..."
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18 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 1, 2011 at 9:01 AM

    good idea

    ReplyDelete
  2. TrishAugust 1, 2011 at 9:01 AM

    Ahhh, true love. I can feel a tear starting at his sentiment. After all it's all about him and his needs... Dr. Grumpy how dare interfere with the trajectory of that love affair? I knew you had in in you to be thoughtless at times (as you 'Y' chromosome types occasionally are), possibly you have the potential to even be cruel if provoked, but I never knew you were a bastard. Now remember your hippocratic oath - to do no harm to that man's ability to get some. After all, it's not like she doesn't have another arm. Sheesh, what a selfish cow to want to use them both.

    ReplyDelete
  3. RickAugust 1, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Hahaha...I almost don't believe this. Incredible.

    ReplyDelete
  4. PackerAugust 1, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    sure bring her in and we will give her a little twist. Monday morning laugh to kick off the week

    word verifier, pigessee---defined as a boyfriend who calls girlfriends dr to delay healing so he can have sex. A pigessee

    ReplyDelete
  5. Solitary Diner (Also Known as The Frugalish Physician)August 1, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    Wow. This makes me want to vomit just a wee bit.

    ReplyDelete
  6. HumincatAugust 1, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    That's something my husband would joke about doing after friends asked about my progress. Not something any over-then-15 man would actually do!! Seriously, people are getting more ridiculous by the minute!

    ReplyDelete
  7. OldSquidAugust 1, 2011 at 12:20 PM

    I understand sir, but this is Dr. Grumpy not Dr. Ruth.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jen MAugust 1, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    Awww...poor guy's just looking for love, doc! Everyone's gotta sympathize with that on some level. Even if it is just a head-shake :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. thatsitAugust 1, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    Boundaries people, boundaries!

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousAugust 1, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Why can't you be reasonable?

    ReplyDelete
  11. MalloryAugust 1, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    So what's stopping him stepping in with her and offering to wash her back?

    Serious dickwad here.

    word verification: butpote - another term for a guy like this.

    ReplyDelete
  12. SuFu PhDAugust 1, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    well you had me going down the wrong track. i thought this story about the train going to she-needs-more-vicodin-ville.

    ReplyDelete
  13. myoclonicjerkAugust 1, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    Get him to pay you for it and you may have a budding new career!

    ReplyDelete
  14. krystinaAugust 1, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    wow, it's been a long day. You don't even want to know how many times I had to re-read it or how long it took me to figure out what he meant...

    ReplyDelete
  15. JanTinkAugust 1, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    I get the distinct impression that Mr. Hormone was definitely NOT welcome in the shower before. ;-)

    Honestly, I can see most men thinking this, but actually acting on the thought to the point of paging a doctor on Sunday to express it really takes the cake.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousAugust 1, 2011 at 11:21 PM

    Reminds me of a patient's wife who divorced him after he had epilepsy surgery because he no longer had those "awesome" seizures at climax that she loved so much...

    ReplyDelete
  17. gloria pAugust 2, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    "No, we can't stall her recovery, but your doctor can prescribe a little blue pill for YOUR problem."

    ReplyDelete
  18. cliffintokyoAugust 2, 2011 at 5:50 AM

    As @Mallory:
    What does the arm injury recovery have to do with ANYTHING?
    Logical disconnect; advise patient to dump dude pronto.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?