Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Dr. Grumpy, uncaffeinated jackass

It's early morning. I need some caffeine. I'm in the little kitchen on Local Hospital's neurology floor. And I'm pissed off.

Dr. Grumpy (yelling at no one in particular): "This is bullshit!" (slams cabinet) "Who the hell puts stuff away here?!!!" (slams drawer).

Nurse Understandablyannoyed comes into the kitchen: "What's wrong?"

Dr. Grumpy: "All I want is some freakin' sweetener for my coffee! And I've been through every damn cabinet and every damn drawer in here! And there's none! I thought they were keeping these stocked!"

Nurse Understandablyannoyed: "They do. It's..."

Dr. Grumpy: "Then where is it?!!! I've looked everywhere in here!"

Nurse Understandablyannoyed: "... it's in the box on the counter, about a foot in front of you, out in the open."

(Long pause)

Dr. Grumpy (red-faced): "Yes. I knew that. I was, uh, just testing you."
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29 comments:

  1. The Plaid CowJune 7, 2011 at 8:05 AM

    I spent twenty minutes this Saturday looking for my sunglasses, before my wife looked at me and asked if I was looking for the ones on my hat--which I was wearing. How was I supposed to remember that is where I put them? And why did it take twenty minutes for anyone else to look at me and see the obvious?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 7, 2011 at 8:11 AM

    So how did your foot taste with your coffee?

    ReplyDelete
  3. PackerJune 7, 2011 at 8:19 AM

    I think you are supposed to use sweetener only with de caffeinated coffee. You use sugar with the regular. It is in the instruction manual.

    So the hospital is just like being at home ?

    Side note, if you ever get little packets of Sugar in the Raw, steal them for later use, you'll thank me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. SuFu PhDJune 7, 2011 at 8:21 AM

    Must be a Dr. thing. I do it all the time. If it weren't for my wife and the research associate in the lab I would never know where anything is or get anything done.

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  5. CholeraJoeJune 7, 2011 at 8:42 AM

    I started drinking mine black back in residency because finding sugar or cream in the ICU was too much of a pain in the ass.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mark In MayenneJune 7, 2011 at 8:57 AM

    I am not very good at finding things, generally. Some things, however, I know exactly where they are, so I look for them where I know they should be.

    When they're not there, I get annoyed and ask the wife "Where's the XYZ?? It should be here".

    The reply is often "Here, I knew you would need it so I got it out for you3

    Gaaa! Why does she do that?

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Nite NurseJune 7, 2011 at 9:51 AM

    Coffee? Where is the Diet Coke?

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  8. Grumpy, M.D.June 7, 2011 at 9:54 AM

    I was desperate. The Diet Coke was downstairs, and I didn't have time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Nite NurseJune 7, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    Ah. I was worried for a minute that the very fabric of the world was ripping apart.

    Also I am so glad we have a vending machine upstairs as well as down. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. kate sweetenJune 7, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    Yeah...I just go with black coffee because it's faster and requires less time tracking down where everyone left all of the other stuff :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. MooseJune 7, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    PLEASE tell me you then apologized for your behaviour. Don't make me get Mrs School Nurse Grumpy to smack you upside the head for having a temper tantrum at work!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Grumpy, M.D.June 7, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    Oh, did I ever. I was horribly embarrassed.

    ReplyDelete
  13. bobbieJune 7, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    LMAO...

    ReplyDelete
  14. A Doc 2 BeJune 7, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    #1 reason for fountain diet coke in the morning over lotsa ice!

    No looking for sweeteners, no temper tantrums due to caffeine w/drawal, no red-faced boobish behavior...

    yep, diet coke is where its at!

    (btw, the word verification for this is "ashou" which sounds vaguely like the way the youngster uttered similarly in Meet the Parents 2)

    ReplyDelete
  15. HavenJune 7, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Hah! My favorite is searching frantically for my 'lost' glasses because I've forgotten that I wore my contacts that day.

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  16. JonJune 7, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    "about a foot in front of you, out in the open." That is exactly where my wife puts stuff in the fridge so that I will never find it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Kitty~AmberJune 7, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    I wonder what the chances are of that nurse blogging the same exact thing...

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousJune 7, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    SuFu PhD
    Sorry, it is not a doctor thing - it is a guy thing. Just read these comments. Why do women have to remember where everything is? And why do men run around throwing tantrums like toddlers when they can't find something?
    -whitecap nurse

    ReplyDelete
  19. JessJune 7, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    Mmmmmm. Coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  20. beardies3June 7, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    Ha ha. I married your brother. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousJune 7, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    Is it true that men have more rods in their eyes and women have more cones so men can only see things straight in front and womens' peripheral vision is better?

    ReplyDelete
  22. watercolordaisyJune 7, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    aaaahahahahahaaaaaahaaaaa!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. The MotherJune 7, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    Time to buy lunch for the office in a gesture of goodwill and humility. That's what I do when I screw up.

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousJune 7, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    I was told by a nursing colleague that this is actually a neurological condition that mostly affects those with the Y chromosome.... It is called "Man Eyes Syndrome". Occasionally women, too, suffer from it, thus the saying, "I'm looking with my man eyes". :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. a.generic docJune 7, 2011 at 7:35 PM

    So those gremlins that hide things until you look in the same place the 3rd time have moved from my office to your coffee room.

    Please keep them!

    ReplyDelete
  26. RamblingJune 7, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    I'm not a medical professional, but I call it "Male Pattern Blindness" and my husband and teenage son have it too.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O)June 7, 2011 at 10:42 PM

    Women have Uterine Tracking Devices UTD’s. We used to set up a tally sheet on Saturday mornings in the restaurant placing wagers on whose hubby would call first and whose most often. Even those of us who have had hysts are better than our spouses.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Happy VegemiteJune 8, 2011 at 1:14 AM

    You obviously had a 'boys look' for the sweetener as we say down here in Australia.

    ReplyDelete
  29. CJune 9, 2011 at 9:31 PM

    you needed a pre-coffee coffee to enable you to find this.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?