Monday, May 9, 2011

How can I help you?

As my regular readers know, I hate going to Walmart. I'm afraid of ending up on People of Walmart. I've actually seen some of my patients on the site (REALLY!).

But, yesterday afternoon, Mrs. Grumpy stopped at one because it was on the way home, and since it was Mother's day I didn't want to argue.

So we go in, and (of course) one of my Alzheimer's patients is working as the entrance greeter. His wife is also there, keeping an eye on him.

Mr. Cognex: "Hi! Welcome to Walmart!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi."

Mrs. Cognex: "Oh, it's Dr. Grumpy, honey! You remember him?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, Mrs. Cognex."

Mr. Cognex: (looks at me): "Oh, do you see Dr. Grumpy?"

Mrs. Cognex: "No, honey, you see Dr. Grumpy."

Mr. Cognex: "Who's Dr. Grumpy?"

Mrs. Cognex: "This gentleman is Dr. Grumpy."

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi."

Mr. Cognex: "Welcome to Walmart! Are you on your way to see Dr. Grumpy now?"

Mrs. Cognex: "Enjoy shopping at Walmart, Dr. Grumpy."

Dr. Grumpy: "Thank you."

Mr. Cognex: "Nice meeting you. Maybe I'll see you at the doctor's. Welcome to Walmart!"

Maybe now my wife will understand...
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18 comments:

  1. thatsitMay 9, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    That is awesome that he has a job!

    When I see our physicians in the local establishments I might say hi if they make eye contact but that is about it. It's not like we're best friends or anything.

    My husband has been stopped in the grocery store or Walmart and been inundated with work questions. It drives him crazy. Really, how is he supposed to help you correct your contract errors in the middle of the paper product aisle of Safeway?

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  2. jimbo26May 9, 2011 at 9:10 AM

    Oh , dear .

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  3. The Bus DriverMay 9, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    thats like a bad abbott and costello sketch!

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  4. Grumpy, M.D.May 9, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    A fair number of my older patients do stuff like this, or volunteer jobs, just to keep busy, and I strongly support that.

    This guy does fine as long as someone is with him to deal with anything that comes up outside the usual stuff, so the store hired them together. They like it. It gives them something to do part-time, and he's a friendly, outgoing type fellow and enjoys greeting people.

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  5. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    Awww. That's sad. Alzheimer's is so weird. My grandmother had it and she didn't have a clue who I was, she didn't know her own daughter (my mother) but for some reason she knew exactly who my father was. Very strange. My father is the ONLY person she knew! Why on earth she knew him and only him nobody ever figured out.

    I am embarrassed to admit, but I go to the People of Walmart site a lot...those pics are so horrible...it's like a train wreck, I can't stop looking. I don't want to look but I just can't stop! I was in a Walmart recently (I didn't want to be but I needed something and it was the only place open that was near my house) and I saw a WOMAN who looked like ELVIS. There was no way I could discreetly get my phone out to take her pic, but I really wanted to.

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  6. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    I used to do door greeting sometimes and I had to shut off at least half my brain so I didn't go mad with boredom. It was a relief when they could hire someone who liked doing it

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  7. a.generic docMay 9, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    So, a new line can be added to the advantages of Alzheimer's:

    1. You make new friends every day.

    2. You can hide your own Easter eggs.

    3. You can still get a job as a greeter at Walmart.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ThorMDMay 9, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    Reminds me of a psych patient who was a check-out guy at the grocery store. Whenever he'd stop his meds, he'd get manic and become the fastest checker ever. I always knew he be in the ER soon......

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  9. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 4:02 PM

    I worked at WalMart for a while and knew a lot of the CSMs (front-end assistant managers, basically) and they openly admitted to putting older employees who didn't seem "all there" or who seemed like they were "going senile" on greeter duty. Usually these were former cashiers who'd been around for a while.

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  10. Family AerospaceMay 9, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    That's it! I'm definitely aiming for a career in neurology now. If nothing else, your life is never boring.

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  11. banded bellaMay 9, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    lol How funny...loved that

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  12. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    This is fantastic! My father passed away from Alzheimer's and he was cheerful and social (if admittedly entirely demented) until about 2 months before his death. He would have loved smiling and saying hi to all the shoppers. :)

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  13. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 8:32 PM

    Well, knowing that at least some of the People of Wal-Mart have neurological problems gives me hope for the human race.
    It is great that the senile and demented can have a job, it really is.

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  14. MooseMay 9, 2011 at 9:13 PM

    Wait, wait, I saw this movie. "Abbott & Costello Meet The Neurologist", right?

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  15. watercolordaisyMay 9, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    That's awesome he and his wife do this. Makes life so much more fun.

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  16. LilorfnannieMay 9, 2011 at 11:14 PM

    Reminds me of the conversations I have with my dementia clients. (CNA in peoples' homes.) With one guy, sometimes I will spend a whole 30-60 minutes at a time answering the same two or three questions, once every 1-2 minutes or so. Eventually he usually winds down though, and gets up and wanders off through the house to find his keys, his wallet, his car- so he can go "home." Then he comes back and sits down and starts all over again.

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  17. AnonymousMay 10, 2011 at 10:14 PM

    When my father-in-law was in the hospital I put a big sign up where he could see it from his bed. "You are in a hospital. You fell and broke your hip. Don't cross your legs." It helped and cut down on repetition.

    ReplyDelete
  18. TeeMay 11, 2011 at 2:19 AM

    Well, if that doesn't make your wife understand your disdain for Wal-Mart, nothing will!

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?