Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Help wanted: New medical secretary

Dr. Grumpy: "Hey, where are the Peanut Butter M&M's?"

Mary: "Oh, we put all the M&M's in the tupperware container over there."

Dr. Grumpy: "But there were 2 bags, the PB's and the dark chocolate..."

Mary: "Yeah, we just put them all in it. It's over there."

Dr. Grumpy: "You mixed PB's with dark chocolate? That's sacrilege!"

Mary: "You're a doctor. The PB's are bigger. I'm sure you can tell the difference and pick them out."

Dr. Grumpy: "That's not the point! You shouldn't mix them! The crappy dark chocolate ones will contaminate the PB's just by being in contact with them."

Mary: "Tough. From looking at your butt I don't think you need either."
at

53 comments:

  1. MooseFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    And did you then ask Mary why she's been staring at your butt?
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Grumpy, M.D.February 22, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    Yes, I did. It was a bad idea.

    She said my butt is so big these days that NOT looking at it is physically impossible.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Karen WFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Haha! You go Mary!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    are you preparing her severance package? LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  5. laughingmomFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:19 PM

    Can't figure out why Mary would WANT to work for someone who considers dark chocolate "crappy!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. LisaFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    That is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  7. PhDnotMDFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    And you really think you'll find another secretary willing to deal with what Mary puts up with all day? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Grumpy, M.D.February 22, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    We are a predominantly milk chocolate office.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Grumpy, M.D.February 22, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    She's untouchable. She knows where the bodies are hidden.

    ReplyDelete
  10. vickiFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    it reminds me of my vet's office. he had a sign up at Christmas
    "Chocolate is for your Vet Not Your Pet!"
    needless to say he got lots of goodies. he says next year he's going to put
    "Steak is for You Vet Not your Pet!"
    i told him to dream on
    and i gave him "mixed chocolates" as not to offend anyone in his office as i'm there a lot due to 5 pets.

    ReplyDelete
  11. kate sweetenFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    I'm still pretty sure that you should hire me AND Mary. We could do some serious damage.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Grumpy, M.D.February 22, 2011 at 3:34 PM

    To what? The M&M's? You're welcome to the dark chocolate ones.

    ReplyDelete
  13. laughingmomFebruary 22, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    I'll take the dark chocolate - in my house it is the drug of choice - we have peanut butter, pretzel, and dark M&M's available 24/7 without a prescription!

    ReplyDelete
  14. JonFebruary 22, 2011 at 4:43 PM

    Mary should get another raise for dealing with your chocolate idiosyncrasies.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 4:45 PM

    "You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!" "You got your peanut butter in my chocolate!"

    ReplyDelete
  16. Not HouseFebruary 22, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    PB all the way. You fight the good fight Grumpy.

    Without the PB, it's just a Smartie.

    ReplyDelete
  17. KYLadyFebruary 22, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    Jeez – I gotta get out of my cave more often and explore the candy aisle. I thought they only came in plain or peanut...in various holiday seasonal colors. I fully support keeping candy segregated.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    I agree that the two types of M&M is wrong, but for the opposite reason. Mixing peanut butter (yecchh) with chocolate (food of the gods) is a peculiarly American sacrilege. Dark chocolate is good for you.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    Mary was too kind, she should have also mentioned about your belly :p

    ReplyDelete
  20. donnaFebruary 22, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    A slam and a dunk for Mary!!

    Mary 1
    Dr. 'big butt' Grumpy 0

    Only by todays count. BTW: Me thinks the problem isn't cross contamination of the dreaded dark
    chocolate, but you having a 'man' moment and NOT wanting to pick them out!

    ReplyDelete
  21. watercolordaisyFebruary 22, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    PB M&M's rule!! They use crappy cheap dark chocolate for the M&M's. Ick. Now expensive good dark chocolate is yummy!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mrs AFebruary 22, 2011 at 6:45 PM

    yuk PB with chocolate? we dont get that here, now vegemite, you all need to try that, it wont make your butt big!

    ReplyDelete
  23. lovinmyjobFebruary 22, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    Diet Pepsi and PB M&M's? I guess it makes sense...save the calories for what counts

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    Mary should get a bonus!

    ReplyDelete
  25. another size largeFebruary 22, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    I like dark chocolate, but don't like the dark chocolate M&Ms. I can't stop eating the pretzel ones: it's as much about the texture as anything else.
    Love the, "you're a doctor ..." line!

    ReplyDelete
  26. moomagFebruary 22, 2011 at 7:44 PM

    But Reeses Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups are so awsome. Since you want the m&m's segregated you can send the contaminated ones to me. I will take them out of their misery and yours.

    ReplyDelete
  27. staceyFebruary 22, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    As far as I'm concerned peanuts contaminate all chocolate...

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    Which cheek is peanut butter and which one is dark chocolate?

    ReplyDelete
  29. JulesFebruary 22, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Can we call you Doctor Big Butt from now on?

    ReplyDelete
  30. JulieFebruary 22, 2011 at 8:33 PM

    Sounds like you're not using the Wii as much as you should be!

    I'm guessing Mary was fired and re-hired again!

    PS i'm with the pro-dark chocolate M&Ms lovers

    ReplyDelete
  31. Frantic PharmacistFebruary 22, 2011 at 9:37 PM

    I know Mary is awesome, but you simply cannot mix different types of M&Ms in the same container. You have to be able to plunge your hand down into the dish and know exactly what you are going to come up with.
    I think it's in the Constitution.

    ReplyDelete
  32. MsCeeFebruary 22, 2011 at 10:52 PM

    Gasp! Dark chocolate is my favorite! Though I do like PB & chocolate too. I am surprisingly, not a fan of milk chocolate though.

    Dr.G, Mary rocks btw.

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:07 PM

    Just turn the other cheek.

    ReplyDelete
  34. David Lee RothFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:21 PM

    I suggest trashing the place.

    ReplyDelete
  35. EDNurseasaurasFebruary 23, 2011 at 12:22 AM

    "Come to the Dark Side...we have peanut butter M&M's...."

    ReplyDelete
  36. terri cFebruary 23, 2011 at 1:26 AM

    I think you've gotta get up early in the morning to get ahead of Mary. Waaaayyyy early. Also you can send the dark chocolate my way. Wouldn't you want to brighten the days of patients in hospice and those who care for them? (Mainly the latter to be honest. Lots of the patients have dysphagia and you hate to see someone aspirate M&Ms.)

    ReplyDelete
  37. pharmacy chickFebruary 23, 2011 at 1:26 AM

    Mary needs a blog! Gotta love her! BTW pharmacy chick is a DARK Chocolate lover in all sense of the word...Dark Chocolate and peanut butter...heaven in a mouthful!

    ReplyDelete
  38. BinkRNFebruary 23, 2011 at 2:11 AM

    PB MMs- yum all the way. I am ok with mixing, as long as they are of differing sizes, otherwise it is like some horrible prank- much like a box of chocolates without the flavor diagram.
    I will say, though- dark chocolate mms- not so good. Dark chocolate dove or dk choc truffles- yummy!!

    Also- nothing goes better with diet Coke than MMs- except for Ding Dongs.

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 4:29 AM

    I love chocolate, but have not tried either variety you are arguing about here. I just wanted you to know that I could send you my resume, as I have a terrible memory and would never remember where the bodies were. In fact, what bodies???

    WV: offidzn (goodbye in another language) = Tootles, Mary! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  40. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 5:03 AM

    You don't need a new sec, you just need two containers!
    (Thinking outside the box here)

    Cliff

    WV: zammenf - Men-zapper Mary?

    ReplyDelete
  41. BetteFebruary 23, 2011 at 5:26 AM

    I can really relate to the PB M&Ms addiction. I have 3 bags of the Valentine variety & 1 of the Easter eggs (which fell huge thru the bag) that are such pretty colors! I'm thinking of adding some to a batch of brownies.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Crazed NitwitFebruary 23, 2011 at 7:58 AM

    I want to be Mary when I grow up!

    ReplyDelete
  43. DorisFebruary 23, 2011 at 8:10 AM

    I think you need to get a whole bunch of baggies and separate them not only by variety, but by color.

    Write some arcane labels and leave them someplace Mary will see them.

    When she asks, explain it's a doctor thing...

    >:p

    ReplyDelete
  44. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    Learn from the moment and get a container with sections. Also the idea that people will be rummaging through makes my germ bell go off.

    wv=Terai; plural of terrace?

    ReplyDelete
  45. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    ROTFLMAO!

    ReplyDelete
  46. jimbo26February 23, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    BAAADDD idea to cross words with Mary :-)

    ReplyDelete
  47. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    think twice when firing mary, she has terrible powers, remember?

    ReplyDelete
  48. Ben SFebruary 23, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    It's Easter season, all regular candy consumption should be switched to Cadbury Mini-eggs (best part of the holiday, according to this Jew).

    Watch out for the dark variety though, am in much agreement with above commenter on quality vs price in this category.

    ReplyDelete
  49. DaniFebruary 23, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    I work with a dr also, and she feels the same way about PB cups. She gets absolutely FRANTIC if someone moves them let alone puts them in a MIX of chocolate.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Spring, Ph.D.February 24, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    I'm with Dr. Grumpy -- mixing dark chocolate with the peanut butter m & ms IS sacrilege!

    Luckily I have control over the chocolate both at work and at home.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Kat's KatsFebruary 24, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    I'm on the 'no mixing' side. Candy may only be mixed if it is individually wrapped. Seriously. Just don't and say you didn't.

    PS When we were dating my husband foolishly left a cd at my house. A mysterious woman called him up and told him it could only be ransomed by bring chocolate... darrrrrrk chocolate to a specific location. It was the second time in my life I got flowers from a bo-oy! (and yes, darrrrrk chocolate! There's a reason I married him!)

    ReplyDelete
  52. oceankissesFebruary 26, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Mixing dark chocolate with ANYTHING is a bad idea.

    ReplyDelete
  53. The MotherFebruary 27, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    Dark chocolate is the life food of the gods. How dare you disparage it.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?