Sunday, January 30, 2011

Memories...

It was the mid-90's. I was the neurology resident on call, and the attending was Dr. Footdrop.

She and I were gradually making our way around the hospital, but it was slow going. We had a lot of patients to see, and she kept getting calls from a crazy patient with millions of insane questions and complaints.

By late-afternoon Dr. Footdrop and I were on the 10th floor, rounding on the last few patients. There was a huge cellophane-wrapped tray of cookies in the middle of the nurses station, and we sat down to have some (it was the only food either of us had seen all day) and review the patients that were left.

While we were snacking, Mr. Crazy called for, literally, the 22nd time in 8 hours. Dr. Footdrop answered her phone, and spoke to him for about minute.

She suddenly leaned forward, and I thought she was getting another cookie. Instead, she grabbed a piece of cellophane. She held it next to the phone, began crinkling it up, and yelled, "I'm sorry, I've caught on fire, and can't talk!" Then she hung up.

Mr. Crazy never called back.
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17 comments:

  1. CarolJanuary 30, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    That is the kind of Dr. I want to work with. Quick thinking!

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  2. AnonymousJanuary 30, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    Hilarious. Be sure to tell Mary this story and then supply her with a roll of cellophane.
    --Queen Anne's Lace

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  3. MorrisJanuary 30, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    Ahh, The brilliance of desperation! Heh..

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  4. AnonymousJanuary 30, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    Sometimes, you just have to be crazier than they are!

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  5. KristinJanuary 30, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    Make sure that Mary's supply of cellophane comes wrapped around champagne or other alcoholic beverages or chocolate.

    ReplyDelete
  6. CrazynewtJanuary 30, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Like that old Calvin and Hobbes, where he blows up a balloon and pops it to get off the phone -

    "Augh, I've been SHOT! Call the police!"

    ReplyDelete
  7. watercolordaisyJanuary 30, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Bwahahahaaaaahhahaa!! Love it!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. SamanthaJanuary 30, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Amazing!

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  9. AnonymousJanuary 30, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    ER's Mom here...

    Man, I need to copy that!

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  10. AnonymousJanuary 31, 2011 at 4:06 AM

    Great story & comments, absolutely A+.....
    Squelchers of the world unite for peace!

    Cliff

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  11. AnonymousJanuary 31, 2011 at 4:09 AM

    That was a rotten trick to play on me. I was just thinking about phoning to see whether you are out of the burns unit yet.
    Mr. Crazy

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  12. OMDGJanuary 31, 2011 at 8:10 AM

    Brilliant! I will have to remember that one for future use.

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  13. MelissaJanuary 31, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    I have had patients who think a call light is a toy that I long to do this to. Unfortunately, I work as a CNA in med-surg and I think they'd get suspicious if I meandered past their room miraculously unburnt and not smelling of bacon.

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  14. MahaFebruary 1, 2011 at 12:22 AM

    I just spewed my tea all over the computer laughing at that one! I'll use this on my crazies tonight and see how they react!

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  15. ERPFebruary 2, 2011 at 8:33 PM

    Let me guess, she referred him to you once you finished your training?

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  16. hoodnurseFebruary 3, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    This rules. Sometimes in the ER, when floor nurses are asking us stupid questions, we bang the mouthpiece on the desk and pretend the phone is broken or just express frustration. This is clearly much more effective.

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  17. lovinmyjobFebruary 5, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    Bubble wrap...I'm sorry but my eye-balls just exploded!

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?