Dr. Testosterone: "You paged me?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah, I saw Mr. Trauma, who you consulted me on, and I'm just trying to get an idea of why you called me."
Dr. Testosterone: "Which patient was this?"
Dr. Grumpy: "He was riding his bike and was hit by a drunk driver, and suffered multiple fractures."
Dr.Testosterone: "Oh, yeah. I want your input as to why he fell off the bike. Did he have a seizure, or balance problem, or something like that?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Uhh... Your dictation says he fell off because he was hit by a car!"
Dr. Testosterone: "So? My dictation doesn't mean anything."
Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah, I saw Mr. Trauma, who you consulted me on, and I'm just trying to get an idea of why you called me."
Dr. Testosterone: "Which patient was this?"
Dr. Grumpy: "He was riding his bike and was hit by a drunk driver, and suffered multiple fractures."
Dr.Testosterone: "Oh, yeah. I want your input as to why he fell off the bike. Did he have a seizure, or balance problem, or something like that?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Uhh... Your dictation says he fell off because he was hit by a car!"
Dr. Testosterone: "So? My dictation doesn't mean anything."
Car shmar, you need to find out what REALLY happened!
ReplyDeleteWha...??? This one has rendered me speechless!
ReplyDeleteand you only drink diet coke ... your life would have me reaching for the stronger stuff
ReplyDeleteHe must have been the inspiration for the Orthopaedics vs anaesthetist video!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he meant evaluate the driver of the car by talking to the patient?
ReplyDeleteI am a bicyclist, I ride a couple of thousand miles per year. Dr. You can tell him that you spoke with an expert. My opinion is that it is hard to remain upright after being hit by a car. Bill accordingly.
ReplyDeleteSounds like Dr. T is working for the drunk driver's insurance company.
ReplyDeleteSmile and nod, smile and nod.
ReplyDeleteDr. Testes is a dingbat, that is my professional Mommy opinion.
Of course it was a balance problem.
ReplyDeleteThere is a fracture; I have to fix it.
ReplyDeleteHeh
This case looks like it needs to be studied and presented to a medical journal.
ReplyDeleteI would have to concur with the anonymous bicyclist and CrownedwithVictory. I think they have hit the proverbial nail on the head. My unprofessional opinion is that Mr. Testosterone needs to study and publish this case on a Medical Journal.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the definition of a double blind study?
ReplyDeleteTwo orthopedists looking at an EKG.
What is the orthopedists definition of the heart?
An organ that pumps ancef to the bones.
Space aliens.
ReplyDeleteAlways blame the space aliens.
Wait a second, Wednesday afternoon rounds. Isn't Wednesday the day that Doctors traditionally ride their bicycles or play golf . I knew there was something wrong here.
ReplyDeleteI don't golf.
ReplyDeleteExcept on the courses with little windmills.
I once got a wrist injury as a result of being bucked off a horse. It offended me highly that numerous medical documents recorded that I had sustained the injury in a fall from a horse. I didn't FALL, dammit, I was BUCKED!!
ReplyDelete1442- do you have a seizure disorder or a balance problem?
ReplyDeleteWhat happened first?
ReplyDeleteDid the patient get fat and then have heart problems, or does he have heart problems and then get fat from lack of exercise?
Or did he get hit by a car?
Tough to figure out sometimes. And even then, post hoc does not equal propter hoc.
As a medical transcriptionist for over 22 years, I'm just glad he didn't blame his meaningless dictation on the MT who transcribed his report. If it doesn't look right, many docs blame it on the MT, not the person who actually dictated the report in the first place. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteAt least this idiot doc is honest. I've seen a lot of dictation that doesn't mean anything. Poor patient. He probably has a balance problem NOW what with the fractures and all.
ReplyDeleteHow do you hide a dollar bill from an orthopod?
ReplyDeletePut it in the chart.
After conferring with other specialists on this list, we have determined that the referring physician has third column, second row. As for the patient, they were hit by a car. Please care for each accordingly. Specialist to whom patient was referred should consume vast amounts of diet coke.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. I assume you ordered an MRI and EEG monitoring?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous 1442 - Rather like my husband who, when going in to have his boxer's break treated, put down the truth of how he received it. "Punched dumb-*ss brother." His orthopod has known my husband for some time (diabetic w/trigger finger operations) and they all fell over laughing. In particular the specialist who went to school with said brother.
ReplyDelete@ERP - Do you really think that the MRI & EEG will show up anything on the referring physician?? Oh dear, that was my out loud type again, wasn't it.