Mr. Jade: "So what's my sed rate?"
Annie: "5".
Mr. Jade: "Is that good?"
Annie: "Yes".
Mr. Jade: "Did you ask the doctor?"
Annie: "Yes. He said 5 is fine."
Mr. Jade: "Was that today that you asked him?"
Annie: "This morning."
Mr. Jade: "Is 5 in the normal range?"
Annie: "Yes."
Mr. Jade: "What is the normal range?"
Annie: "Less than 20."
Mr. Jade: "So that's less than 20?"
Annie: "Yes."
Mr. Jade: "Which is normal, right?"
Ooooh, I just found you over at Knucklehead's blog. I'm severely neurotic and read medical things on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteIn fact I have the entire PDR and more than half of Mayoclinic.com and WebMD.com memorized.
No, seriously...I do. I am a doctor's worse nightmare.
We're going to get along just swimmingly. :)
Wait! Are you sure that 5 is less than 20?
ReplyDeleteNo one has actually ever worked out the philosophy of mathematics. In fact, a few years ago a guy proved that no logically consistent mathematical system could EVER prove that it was logically consistent. Bertrand Russell even tried and failed, kerplunk, against the self-containing null set.
So maybe 5 isn't really less than 20. This week. And maybe next week it will be. So have him call back next week to check his sed rate results again.
I've come out of lurk status with an observation I'm sure you've considered. I'm starting to wonder if maybe some of your followers should schedule a consult in your office...
ReplyDeleteI want a second opinion if 5 is really less than 20!
ReplyDeleteWow, that guy should be doing the Happy Dance. During the year I was very sick & couldn't walk, my sed rate shot over 100.
ReplyDeleteSchrodinger's cat in medicine???
ReplyDeleteIt is less than twenty and then it isn't???
Schrodinger would have loved this.
ReplyDeleteYes, but what is Schrodinger's cat's sed rate?
ReplyDeleteMedicine is not responsible for quantum fluctuations, random probability weirdness, inconsistent logical systems, mathematical incoherency or the fact that no one still knows whether p = np.
ReplyDeleteBut I'll be happy to do the post on the cat if it keels over.
(I will add that there is rampant speculation that much of Dr. Grumpy's field might actually be controlled by quantum weirdness. Including the mystery of consciousness itself. Just FYI, in case I haven't given anyone enough philosophical headaches today.)
Yikes - THAT is NOT "normal" - I would be going crazy by then - heck, I might have gone there already just from reading about that exchange.
ReplyDeletethe cat's sed rate depends on whether you try to measure it.
ReplyDeleteWho's on first?
ReplyDeletep = np is only true if you aren't the one who has to clean it up. Anyone with dog or a child can tell you that.
ReplyDeleteFirst encounter with a *verification freak*?
ReplyDeleteOr maybe he works in Quality Assurance and can't switch off!
My favorite:
ReplyDelete- yes, you're prescription is ready
- so, does that mean I can pick it up?
- Yesssss
- what time can I pick it up?
- anytime
- can i pick it up tomorrow at 1 pm?
- ** head on counter**. Yeeessss.
- so it will be ready if I'm there tomorrow at 1 pm?
- ** for the love of all that is holy!!!**. YES!!
Happens at least 2-3times a day ( may be an underestimation).