Mrs. Migraine: "I need to go off Topamax, because my husband and I want to have another child."
Dr. Grumpy: "Okay. We'll see how the headaches do as I lower the dose. Are you on any other medications?"
Mrs. Migraine: "I'm on birth control pills. Will I have to stop those, too, before we try to get pregnant?"
(long pause)
Dr. Grumpy: "Why don't you ask your OB/GYN about that one."
Noooo, you tell her she absolutely MUST stay on the birth control pills. The gene pool is shallow enough as it is without another one like her being born!!
ReplyDeleteHOW did you not laugh???
ReplyDeleteOh my dear god. When you finally lose it on a patient one day, it's going to be a miracle you've lasted that long.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I've actually been asked that, too. So you're the one sending them to me....
ReplyDeletestorkdok
(can't remember my supersecret sign in codes before coffee finished...)
Some patients call that pill "Dopomax."
ReplyDeleteDo you ever wonder if there's a second evolutionary pathway, and the term "sapiens" will soon no longer apply?
ReplyDelete(I spent years on Topamax. I could no longer do the NYTimes Saturday puzzle in ink, a faculty that returned immediately after stopping the drug. I did, however, still remember what the term "birth control" meant.
But then, I already had four. Maybe it was more about desperation.)
That would be funny except for this....
ReplyDeleteYears ago I stopped taking the pill to try and conceive. After months of having irregular cycles I went to the primary md to get advice on fertility issues. After explaining the issue, the doctor wanted to prescribe birth control pills to me. I have not been back to see that doctor since.
*snicker*
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to wonder if some of your patients just like to mess with you. They can't possibly be that stupid, can they?
ReplyDelete*sigh*...I can't believe I'm going to try and defend her...
ReplyDeleteIs it possible she was wondering if she needs to be off the BCP for a few months BEFORE she tries to conceive? Some people think that you have to wait for the pills to "leave your system" etc. Or waiting a few months may give her cycle a chance to regulate thereby increasing her chances of becoming pg? This is the type of stuff you read on pregnancy and conception websites.
"They're that kind you buy at the drugstore that come in those little plastic packages that say 'Tic Tac.' When I was in high school, I didn't want to sleep with my boyfriend because I was worried about getting pregnant, so he got me to start taking them."
ReplyDeleteOMG!! The fact that she said "Another child" and then asked about stopping birthcontol...
ReplyDeleteYeah... i'm a little afraid right now...
Genetic Lifeguard - "Yo! You! Outta the genepool!!"
ReplyDeleteSorry, I take Topomax and that was not the meds talking!!
It could have been that she just phrased it badly... like Gen suggested, it kind of sounds like she was wondering if she'd have to be off the pills for several months before actively trying to conceive. (If I remember right there are some studies that show getting pregnant right after stopping the Pill may lead to a higher miscarriage risk).
ReplyDeleteOr Topomax confuddled! It could be that she was thinking about how long she would need to be on the pill after being off of Topomax before going off of BC. Although that's still an OB/GYN question, I know that it's certainly one that I went through it with mine.
ReplyDeletePeople really SHOULD have to take an IQ exam (and pass it) and get a license to have children.
ReplyDeleteThis is really ER's mom at work...
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my world. And yes, eventually they DO reproduce.
Anon, that's one old school doctor you had there! My mom tried for years to get pregnant (1960s) and one of the things they did was to put her on the pill. Not that it did any good. I'm not sure what the logic was there.
ReplyDeleteAhaha, glorious.
ReplyDeleteI haven't laughed so hard in a while. I laughed a bit at the post, but I cried at the genetic lifeguard comment. Thanks. I think I'll have a shirt made with that comment on it. Or get one it it already exists.
ReplyDeleteOh how I don't miss thee topomax brain. lol. I took that for a few months. Had to quit taking it before I got fired because my thinking was so scrambled..... My neuro had one conversation with me and said, "yeah stop taking it right now." lol
ReplyDeleteNot trying to defend this person but...I actually do know someone who can ONLY get pregnant while ON the pill. I guess she doesn't get her period at all without BC so when she and her husband want to conceive she goes ON the pill. That being said...I highly doubt its the case here.
ReplyDeleteThis is damn funny.
ReplyDeleteUnless you're infertile.
Then it's just maddening. Really, really maddening.
Put her on imitrex......
ReplyDeleteRe: Genetic Lifeguard shirt - if I get enough requests at my shop Ill be more than happy to make one.
ReplyDeleteWon't she need to continue the Topomax? What happens if she gets a 'headache' when it's time to.......you know....conceive?
ReplyDelete