Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."
Miss Multiplex: "Um, yeah, I need to make an appointment for Suzy."
Mary: "Okay, what's she coming in for?"
Miss Multiplex: "She has migraines. We both have Blue Cross."
Mary: "Okay, when can she come in?"
Miss Multiplex: "Umm... I'm not sure. I don't know when she'll be here."
Mary: "Is she traveling?"
Miss Multiplex: "No, she's one of my personalities."
Yaaaayyyy! I got my fix for today. I can go back to the grind. Let's see, this one's is for Elmo, er Suzy.
ReplyDeleteOh hell no!
ReplyDeleteOMG...It's Sybil! I love it. I can just imagine the other personalities butting in and trying to answer questions for the patient. That's when you'll threaten to kick the others out if they don't let the patient speak for herself. LOL
ReplyDeleteI thought MPD (multiple personality disorder) doesn't exist?
ReplyDeleteAnony, 6:54 pm that was my first thought too, after I stopped laughing. I think they just renamed it tho.
ReplyDeleteNow, what I want to know it, do all the personalities feel the headaches or just one? Now, that would make for interesting pain medicine study!
Well, they both have insurance, so that's a good thing.
It is highly debated within the psychological literature. There is (imo) reputable evidence to suggest that different personalities do exist within one persons mind, however the details are extremely hard to understand, prove or attribute to a cause.
ReplyDeleteDoes Blue Cross cover them both? One deductible or two? If one of them takes a drug, and the other takes a different drug, can the two drugs interact? If Suzy dies in the Matrix, does Miss Multiplex die also?
ReplyDeleteroflmbo... OH lord that is priceless..
ReplyDeleteDid she specify which one of your personalities she wanted to see?
ReplyDeleteSo who treats the migraines of a person with multiple personalities-a neurologist or a Pdoc? Interesting...
ReplyDeleteAt least she knows which one is having the migraines. That's better than not knowing what's wrong and also not knowing who the heck is having issues.
ReplyDeleteI'm dying laughing....my fave part is that they both have Blue Cross.
ReplyDeleteWhose name would the prescription be under?
ReplyDeleteThepeoplethepeoplethepeople...
ReplyDeleteI think everytime Suzy gets a migraine a different personality, who does not get migraines, should take over. Make your pathology work for you, I always say!!!
Oh, Jeezzzz...poor Mary, she's heard it all now!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a fantastic opportunity for Mary to use the tactic of the sweet LOL who was avoiding her son, something like..."Um, BEEP! Thank you for calling Grumpy Neurology, Inc. Our offices are currently closed and we will get back to you as soon as possible. But don't hold your breath until then. BEEP!"
ReplyDeleteMary is a Saint
ReplyDeletewhat DID mary do?
ReplyDeleteWoe...
ReplyDeleteWe're going to have to hear more about this one.
ReplyDeletenot dating material
ReplyDeletePerhaps Suzy was kind enough to leave Miss Multi a note, but neglected to include her anticipated date of return...
ReplyDeleteSo how many slots did Mary allot for that appointment, one or two?
ReplyDeletedo do do do, do do do do (while singing the theme to The Twilight Zone)
You know, I'd never have guessed that punch line in a million years. Waaaay left field!
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely laughing...BTW, I'm one of them. See you soon, Doc!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, for real?
ReplyDeletewhich one of your personalities she wanted to see?
ReplyDeleteBanner Advertising Network India
Alright.. one.. this is a bit ammusing... for two...
ReplyDeleteI'm really appaled by the ignorance in the comments :(
Multiple personality order does exist.
Today, we call it "Dissociative identity disorder".
It is NOT the "oops I got bumped on the head, now I have an EVUL TWIN in my head" sort of thing, nor is it (always) the things you see on TV, or movies.
In most cases, here's what happens:
In childhood, the afflicted person is traumatized in some manner. I'm not talking about "and mom didn't explain to me what my period was I I thought I was dying"... or "and then she showed my naked baby pictures to the football team"... I'm talking about severe sexual, physical, and/or psychological trauma. This kid is put into a situation that is totally wrong, and their mind does not comprehend why Mom/Dad/Uncle Steve is hurting them. Or maybe they saw their parents murdered brutally in front of them.
I'm not going to continue to speculate on WHAT happened, just that something BAD happend to them and they, to cope with this idea, blocked the memories. Yeah. They forget it happened. No one is surprised when a small child can't recall the details of a traumatic event. they simple say "It's so sad.." They aren't surprised if they make up a different story that they can pretend happened ("and mommy and Daddy went away so that they could help the tree people.")
And that's the key. They lock those feelings and memories away. Sometimes... maybe most of the time, that's it. But sometimes, some people are disposed towards using this coping mechanism again and again. And in some people, later, these memories come back, but they have a personality with them Sometimes it's a shadow of the child who was hurt, sometimes it's utterly different. If a kid logs on to the thought of "If I was a big, strong man, I could stop this from happening..." and that memory becoems a big strong man.
It's ... not very clear how these things happen, But the bottom line is that these invididuals use this coping mechanism, and all is well until later on in life when these other personalities, for whatever reason, emerge again.
These peopel tend to experience periods of feeling out of control (You know how when you drive somewhere you kick into autopilot? like that. Only not with driving), or periods where they have no recollection (How did i get home from work? Where did these new clothes come from..?)...
Sometimes another personality comes out to have fun (a small child, or teenager coming out to play or go shopping, or go to a bar..) and sometimes they come out to react to life. One person might be threatened and suddenly be the 'big tough man' personality and intimidate the problem away... another person might suddenly loose control to the small scared personality who has them curl up and sob on the ground and beg. These two people might be the same person, even, just depending on the situation.
Everyone is different. Just ike you and I, Everyone with DID is different. Some people can eventually 'share' their mind with their other selves. They (sometimes) imagine something like a big room, where they all live and share space, Some peopel imagine a room for each personality, off of the main room... so everyone has a place to 'go' and be 'safe'... and in these sorts of 'systems' the differnet personalities communicate. They discuss important things. ("Should I ask this girl on a date?" "We have a job offer, but we'd have to move"), and try to be fair (sometimes)... try try to be.. controlled. ("After work, Suzy can do whatever she wants for an hour--watch dora, play with her Barbies whatever--then we have to make dinner.")
ReplyDeleteOther systems are less controlled, with a large amount of disharmony, conflicts for controll, etc... and in other systems, the different parts are never aware of eachother. And sometimes, all of these things happen at once.
Some people have only one or two other personalities in their heads. Some, have 4 or 5. Some have more. I've heard of one with 500 different 'people' living on their head.
And in ALL cases, it's different. In one body, There's very clearly a 'main' personality and the other personalities are like small shadows.In others, the 'others' are very clear and defined, truely peopel in all respects. I've hear of systems where the 'main person' wasn't even sure if he was the original personality, or just the one who was in control most often.
Some systems decide, to try and merge into one personality... while others would not try to do that if they were offered the chance to. It's part of how they live and think.
it's not just a matter of "I use different words when I'm suzie".. In some, different personalitiese, or alters, have different tastes and opinions, different speach patterns, different IQ's... for some people, the EEG studies (or whatever the're called) show distincted difference between different personalities (while in others, they are consistant)... They have different handwritting, sometimes, I've heard of cases where different alters have differing blood preassures, or differnelt eyesight issues.
I have no doubt that some people are very mild cases, but others?
DID is very real...
My husband is not a multiple... however, he is borderline. If he one day formed other personalities then I would not be at all surprised. his childhood was troubled, and he sections his memories off very clearly. He has a few personalities he 'shifts' between... for him the division between "work" and "home" life is very wide. It's never surprising to me when I ask what he did at work and he says to me that he can't remember. This division is worse when he's been stressed. He's not a multiple, as I said... but he's proof of concept, if I've ever seen one.
Here are some links that you may find interesting:
http://www.exunoplures.info/plurintro.html --This is a intorduction/faq dealing largly with one body's system.. the 'home' link at the bottome has some other itneresting pages on it suck as a glossary
http://pagmies.meeble.net/ Everything this person has written is relatively interesting on the topic.
http://www.freewebs.com/hawinitsiwoni/index.htm Another good link.. I recomend the 'the adults' and 'the kids' paage in particular. Try to go in to it with an open mind. :) Also, be careful, there is mention of adult content in there.. nothing explicit... but it is mentioned.
Anyway, this isn't meant to be chiding or anything, just hoping to educate a bit :)
Take care :D
Roguelike, thank you for the links to look up. I like reading and learning more on almost any topic.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading Grumpy now for some time. Please don't think for one minute that he and the people that joke here are not enlightened or caring people.
I don't believe anyone meant to hit a nerve with what you have been experiencing and coping with. This blog says the most outrageous things at times, but that's why we come here. We just want to make light and laugh. (Even when things are not a funny or joking matter.) We've got to find it somewhere in life. Otherwise life is too stressful, too serious, too much of a heavy burden.
I understand that sometimes people make light of things that can rub us the wrong way. If we didn't though, we'd all be walking around somber, and joking with friends is one of the vents in our lives.
Dr. Grumpy is really a good guy, and the people here -I've found to be bright, funny, educated and caring. They mean only to joke around with the author. I laugh at some of the creative things they come out with.
Please see we are all just playing around on this site. It isn't meant to be serious discussion and it in no way reflects how we truly feel when faced with the real situation. We all have had and are having issues in our own lives and this place helps us to laugh and read and escape for a while. I'd just hate for you to misunderstand us all.
Grumpy, Sorry so long a comment. I hope you don't mind.
Oh, Chrysakis, it wasn't really so much that a nerve of mine was hit--What's part of my life is part of my life, no biggie. Some have it better, some have it worse, but my husband is mine and he wouldn't be anyone but who he is without his "quirks". What it was, more, was jsut that peopel seemed to not understandm or be miinformed. And in this wonderful day and age... well.. there's no reason to be midinformed.
ReplyDeleteI'ts nto that I felt offended, I jsut want to share! I honestly thing that DID is a rather facinating aspect of "mental illness".... I've heard a number of books on the topic that are jsut facinating reads... there used to be more websites out there.. about people who are multiple and about how they live... the people in their mind. And I think it's all facinating. I've often said that I would love to be a psychiatrist, but I'd get too involved. I'd burn out too fast. But that facination's still there, and I try to enlighten people about the real face of the illness whenever I can... Television and movies have provided such a tainted point of view that most people get their information from.... and even the ones that are more 'correct' are only showing a small sliver of what it actually is.
So.. no offense was taken.. I jsut want to share information :)