The scroll wheel on my mouse got stuck. So I turned it over and banged it hard several times on my desk to fix it (this works, sometimes).
From down the hall Mary yelled: "Hey! What's that noise?"
I said: "I'm beating my mouse back here."
Mary yelled back: "Whatever you want to call it. Next time close your office door."
It's behavior like this that gets Mary fired. I fire her an average of 5-6 times a day.
How soon until Mary posts this on the that's my boss blog?
ReplyDeleteIs that what the kids are calling it these days?
ReplyDeletekeep her if she called housekeeping and the dry cleaner.
ReplyDeletePoor Dr. Grumpy! You can't get good help nowadays. LOL
ReplyDeletedude, put your mouse in dishwasher, will ya? :p
ReplyDeleteMary is a demented genius. I like that in a person. No wonder you and she work well together!
ReplyDeletethanks for my first big belly laugh of the day!!!
ReplyDeleteI love Mary. I really, really love her to pieces.
ReplyDeleteBTW, for some strange reason this made me think of you, Doc:
http://notalwaysright.com/bohemian-nobody/5571
Mary rocks!
ReplyDeleteI really, really want to work in your office.......
ReplyDeleteFor future reference, you might need a mouse ball replacement. Before replacing your balls, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.
ReplyDelete"Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that you have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum satisfaction. If you are missing your balls you should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items. A person without access to properly working balls is an unhappy person.
HEEE! :)
I've heard of a woman "double-clicking her mouse". I guess what's good for the goose is good for the gander!
ReplyDeleteYou know what the problem is... Mary is suffering from the effects of dealing with your patients!!
ReplyDeletePS I used to take out the mouse's ball on a regular basis and clean it with isopropyl alcohol.
Dr. G:
ReplyDeleteOptical mice, without balls, are now available.
That sounds really weird!
Don't fire Mary. Who else will you hire to deal with...everything she deal's with?
People! I'm not talking about the little roller button on the bottom of the mouse. I mean the gray scrolling ball ON TOP OF the Apple Optical Mighty Mouse. Like this.
ReplyDeleteWell, we had fun with this anyway.
ReplyDeleteDon't know about that one. You would think you could take it out and clean it. You would think a company as far thinking as Apple would imagine that people who are using a computer might have stuff on their hands...
Oh, God, the pictures in my head...I need to go bleach my mind now.
Well, there's your problem! Never mess with Mighty Mouse!!
ReplyDeleteapparently you are not alone, a lot of tips here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.macosxhints.com/article.php?story=20060210115417864
and - stop eating crispy/fatty food when using the mouse ;-)
Btw, I've been reading some of your posts to my husband. He thinks the whole thing should be turned into a sitcom. He thinks it'd be the funniest sitcom that's been on in a long time and it would get incredible ratings. I agree! I'd watch it!
ReplyDeleteA sitcom based on Dr. Grumpy would be so much better than any of the medical dramas that keep showing up on network television.
ReplyDeletePlease tell Mary that I love her and her evil ways!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kristin!! In the rush to fill the "void" left by ER all of the medical shows that have come out recently are CRAP!
ReplyDeleteAnything based on Dr. Grumpy would be awesome!
xx
Jaxs
Ugh, I hate those Apple mouses (mouse?), always squeeze them inadvertently and weird stuff pops up on the screen.
ReplyDeleteMy husband also has that same mouse and uses small isopropyl alcohol wipes to clean it.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the belly laugh Dr. G and all previous posters!
I haven't watched a medical drama since Trapper John MD went off the air. Did I just date myself?
ReplyDeleteYou are both sick and twisted. That's why I love u. Can I work in your office? or just be a fly on your wall? personal assistant? go-fer? groupie?
ReplyDeleteWhile reading the Twitter feed from Dr Grumpy, it occurred to me he could take his show on the road like
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/08/william-shatner-reads-shi_n_491035.html
the popular twitter Sh*tmydadsays has done!
Kim you did not date yourself. I was in LOVE with Gonzo. It was my favorite show. I actually found Season 1 on DVD a few years ago but nothing else. Sure wish one of the cable stations would rerun the episodes. I was sad to see it go.
ReplyDeleteWhat about St. Elsewhere?
Ahhh, yes, Gonzo was cute. :) I never saw St. Elsewhere. I was semi-incorrect when I said the last medical drama I watched was Trapper John MD. When my son was a baby and I was up at insane hours (12am for an hour, then 2am for another hour, then 4am for another hour...I didn't sleep for the first year of his life!) to feed him, I did catch a few ER episodes. Only a few, though, and I caught one that seemed anti-cochlear implant, which annoyed me because I'm very pro cochlear implant, so I didn't watch again.
ReplyDelete....needed that laugh today, Dr. G. Keep Mary. Fire the OB Nurse. omg.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAH!! Yep, that sounds about like something she would say! Witty girl! Jobless from hour to hour, but witty, she is!
ReplyDeleteJust don't tell her you've been "hiking the Appalachian Trail." Even if you have.
ReplyDeleteThanks, man. I've had a shitty last 24 hours at work. I needed a good laugh.
ReplyDeleteMary must know something about the size of your manhood that the rest of us don't.....
ReplyDeleteBoy that must be a lot of paperwork to fire and rehire her several times a day!
ReplyDeleteJust glad you're not a brain surgeon.
ReplyDeleteheh.
Oh my...laughed my butt off. I sure needed it doc! Said it before, give Mary a raise, she is a hoot!
ReplyDelete