"Hi, this is Hank Bozo. I just found an old message on my cell phone reminding me to come to my appointment with Dr. Grumpy on March 19. Can someone please call me back and let me know if I showed up for it, and if I did, what we decided to do. If I didn't show up for it, I want to make another appointment. Thank you."
This is real?
ReplyDeleteGod, I hope this isn't real.
It's real. I don't have the time or imagination to think this shit up.
ReplyDeleteOooh, please tell me this guy has a neurological reason for this...
ReplyDeleteWhy not give the poor clown another chance? Make him another appointment. You were free at 9 o'clock on April 1st, 2010, weren't you? Sure you were. Make it then.
ReplyDeleteThen, here's how it didn't go down: Bozo didn't show up and was not complaining of a constellation of irrelevant symptoms; then he didn't have tests ordered, which he later didn't show up for; then he didn't call your office to find the results of the tests that weren't done. After that, you can not bill the insurance company. Finally, you don't go home, where you will not drink heavily.
Well, did he show up to it?
ReplyDeleteSend this guy a bill every month from now on. He won't remember if he actually came in or not, or if he paid any of the previous bills.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Mr. Dingbat, but I can't do all of your thinking for you.
ReplyDelete"Oh, wait, this isn't my cell phone. My bad."
ReplyDelete"'Cuz I really, really need an alibi for March 19th. Otherwise, can I make an appointment for five years from now?"
ReplyDelete"Oh, and can you remind me if Dr. Grumpy is my neurologist or my dentist? Because I think I may have a cavity."
ReplyDelete"Oh, and am I pregnant?"
ReplyDeletebe nice....we all reach this stage at some time in our lives!
ReplyDeleteOMG? Seriously, Grumpy you have some amazing patients. I may have to mention your encounters (casually of course) to my Neruo and see if he gets this shit. I have two questions for you?
ReplyDeleteHave you ever kicked a patient out of your practice? Do you need a lawyer?
If not, what would a patient have to do to be ask to leave?
I would imagine non-compliance, drug seeking behavior, etc. would be high on the list.
I am so sorry! Are you on the west coast? Or do you get up and post REALLY early?
I guess he gets points for trying.
ReplyDeleteI can *so* relate to this guy... if it isn't the AEDs trashing my memory, it's the absence seizures.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I take notes during my appointments. And ask for copies of test results. And take personal responsibility for my own health care. But that's just me. I bet this guy spent an hour or so looking up his symptoms on google, but won't spend 10 minutes to make a few notes about his conversation with you and your treatment plan.
ReplyDeleteWV: nologic (no, really, that's it...perfect, yes?)
I think there's a good reason he called after hours and spoke to voicemail.
ReplyDeleteBright side--at least he didn't play the wild goose chase card and demand his knowingly non-existent test results!
Organic brain disease?
ReplyDeleteTwit?
What's the differential diagnosis between these?
>:p
One of your Alzheimer patients, soon to be diagnosed Alzheimer patients, or your run of the mill moron? ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe last one.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should follow the VA procedure of;
ReplyDelete1. Giving the pt an appointment slip for the next visit when he leaves the from the current one.
2. Mail a notice a month before.
3. Mail a card to arrive a week before.
4. Contact by automated phone 3 business days before the appointment.
5.(future) Send somebody over to dress the pt and haul him in.