You woke up last night with chest pain and your heart racing. You called 911. In the emergency room you were found to have a heart attack. You then had a 10 minute episode of right-sided weakness and inability to speak, but are better now.
So this morning you:
A. Thank your internist, who dragged his butt out of bed on a Sunday to come see you in the hospital.
B. Thank the cardiologist, who dragged her butt out of bed on a Sunday to come see you in the hospital.
C. Thank the neurologist (me), who dragged his butt out of bed on a Sunday to come see you in the hospital.
D. Tell the internist, cardiologist, and neurologist to all go away and come back to your hospital room tomorrow, because you don't want to miss any of the football pre-game, game, or post-game coverage.
(If you answered "D", It was nice to meet you this morning, sir. And I think you're an asshole).
I don't know why it still amazes me, but it does! People have NO IDEA about their own healthcare!!
ReplyDeleteAt least Mr. Asshole has his priorities. Too bad they're so fucked up!
ReplyDeleteWell, you can't expect a little thing like a TIA or MI* to get in the way of game day can you? Silly Doctors, Sundays are for football, not for getting better!
ReplyDelete*see I used my big girl medical acronyms? I'm trying to get back into the swing of thing's before spring semester...
A, B, & C
ReplyDeleteGeez, some people!
Um, that's when I would have unplugged the TV telling him that football was way to stressful for a person in their condition. And, "I'll see you tomorrow"...
ReplyDeleteAw come on! It's the playoffs!
ReplyDeleteIf I were the doc admitting him I would write an order to suspend all bathroom and TV privileges. Maybe just for added measure, I would order a few enemas.
ReplyDeleteWas his name Dildo Baggins?
ReplyDeleteThat sort of behavior is what drives the team I work with, in hospice, to look at one another, say, "Everyone grieves differently," and then crack up laughing.
ReplyDeleteSounds like he's in heavy denial.
ReplyDeleteWhy do ya think he called 911? to get to the hospital room with the TV faster!!! Besides, who has time for "hey thanks for keeping me from being worm food" anyway?
ReplyDeleteI used to walk into the room and turn off the patient's TV. In clinic, if the patient is still reading the magazine when I start talking, I just take it out of their hands and put it out of our way. Holy cow, those nuns really did teach me something in grade school!
ReplyDeletei'm with "the good cook" and yep asshole is a good description for the umm ... patient
ReplyDeleteI hope he's a Patriots fan.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised he didn't think to ask you to d/c and readmit tomorrow so he could watch it on a better TV at home. Or does your hospital have those nice new big flat screens in all patient rooms?
ReplyDeleteI hope you all charged for today's consult separately from tommorrow's.
ReplyDeleteThe "other" side: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=456#comic
ReplyDelete[a friend titles that "Pittsburgh Doctors" :-)]
Can't you prescribe lots of Benedryl so he misses the whole game?
ReplyDelete