Bleary-eyed, I stumble into the doctor's lounge. I'm on call. I have a migraine, though the medication is starting to take effect. I'm sleep deprived. I forgot to grab a Diet Coke on the way out of the house. I need caffeine, calories, and fluids.
It's been picked clean. No bagels, bread, or muffins. Shelves empty. Refrigerator empty. Coffee machine broken and overflowing into the sink.
After a careful search I found:
3 packets of melba toast.
1 packet of fat-free, calorie-free, taste-free cream cheese.
And an 8 oz. can of caffeine-free diet RC cola that was lying between the refrigerator and the sink. It was covered with dust bunnies and warm from the fridge motor. The hospital hasn't carried RC in years.
This sucks.
It's almost as though you're a resident all over again!! And what about the Shasta? There HAD to be some Shasta around.
ReplyDeleteLovely way to start the day. It can only go up from there, right? Maybe?
ReplyDeletePlease tell us whether you ate any of it.
ReplyDeleteI had the Melba toast and put the soda in the fridge.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's budget cuts?
ReplyDeleteGood lord, any chance you could get a deli to deliver some Diet Coke?!?
ReplyDeletePoor Dr Grumpy!
ReplyDeleteCome and work in the UK - the doctors' lounges are just as terrible, but there's no way in hell a senior neurologist would ever be in the hospital at that time of night. Actually, I've never seen a senior neurologist in a doctors' lounge at all - they seem to prefer the coffee in their ivory towers ;)
Good luck, Dr. G. I'm sure your headache is not being helped by the lack of caffeine. What crazy bastard would purchase caffeine-free diet RC ??
ReplyDeleteSorry, Dr. Grumpy.
ReplyDeleteIf misery really does love company, you should be happy to know that I am on, transcribing notes that are all marked STAT, which are really just discharges and progress notes from November and December of last year. Thanks, Dr. Drags-his-feet, thanks for really screwing up my Sunday morning!
I, too have migraine, so I feel our pain on that level, as well. =(
Don't drink the soda. It will be nasty and flat. I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteSo, do you see yourself for your migraines? :D
ReplyDeleteWhen I work hospital shifts the strongest coffee is in the family waiting room outside CCU. Ironic, perhaps, but there you go.
ReplyDeleteaww. i think that's the sort of morning when you find the vending machine, stat.
ReplyDeleteDr Grumpy, I found you in food form. Meet grumpy bun and grumpy cookie.
ReplyDeleteI think they should be your mascots.
Awwww. You needed somebody to run by Panera for some good takeout for you. What a sucktastic experience.
ReplyDeleteIf the ancient soda is flat, you could perk it up with some artificial sweetener-- oh wait, you've tried that before. It's not worth it anyway without the caffeine.
ReplyDeleteYou gotta carry emergency Excedrin (I prefer store brand) for times like this - stops early migraines and caffeine withdrawal, too!
ReplyDeleteYour blog cracks me up...and keeps me going as a chaplain on call. You wouldn't believe the crazy things I hear some days.
ReplyDeleteThe "On Call, Again. Live the Adventure." was about how I didn't feel today. LOL.
I was on call today too. Two brain bleeds. What's up with that? I did make my coffee before I went though to prevent the migraine though :).
Funny blog! And so real, too. I hate those moments when I could chew my arm off and all I can find in the lounge is a half opened soda and a two day muffin missing its top! Thanks for the smile.
ReplyDelete(Suthern Drawl) Y'all drink yore RC Coca Cola and have a 'Bama Pecan Pie with it now, Y'hear?
ReplyDeleteIs the Dr's lounge a co-op or does Santa stock the stuff?
Hospital stocks it with bagels, cream cheese, cookies, muffins, soda, and coffee.
ReplyDeleteI'd be willing to give it up if they'd hire a few more nurses.