Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday Funday

So I had a hospital consult this lovely Sunday. The patient was an EXTREMELY drunk lady.

Dr. Grumpy: "How much do you drink?"

Mrs. Smashed: "Oh maybe 3, sometimes 4 a day."

Dr. Grumpy: " 3 or 4 what? Beers? Bottles of wine? Six-packs?"

Mrs. Smashed: "You're getting warmer."
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18 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2010 at 2:54 PM

    Hey at least shes an honest drunk!

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  2. Kimbra KaschJanuary 17, 2010 at 3:04 PM

    What a way to start a day :(

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  3. JoJanuary 17, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    That sounds like something from "Texts From Last Night".

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  4. terri cJanuary 17, 2010 at 4:12 PM

    At least it wasn't the ever-popular "two beers..."

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  5. My liver, my liver!!!January 17, 2010 at 4:53 PM

    5ths of Vodka?

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  6. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    Hilarious! We have a frequent flyer in my ED - his answer to the same question is "as much as I can get my f*ing hands on". I appreciate the honesty!

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  7. Science Marches OnJanuary 17, 2010 at 5:11 PM

    When I was at the VA I found that I got more useful information by asking, "How much does it take to get you drunk?"

    The answers were less distorted by the patient's desire to hide their habit.

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  8. ERPJanuary 17, 2010 at 6:22 PM

    My favourite was a guy who said he drank "a bottle a day". I was like "a 5th of Vodka"? and said "No, a gallon!".

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  9. OMDGJanuary 17, 2010 at 6:59 PM

    Before I ever even contemplated medical school, I met a man who went through an entire case of beer in 2 hours. A CASE. And then he started working his way through the second one. I was seriously surprised that a person could do that. He may have ingested a fifth during that time too. He weighed about 350 lbs. I wonder if he's still alive. He was only 40 or so at the time..... So sad.

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  10. HVSJanuary 17, 2010 at 7:53 PM

    That sounds like me and my diet coke addiction.

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  11. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2010 at 7:54 PM

    Sometimes I think I live in Salt Lake City because every single patient who comes in to the pharmacy when counseled/questioned claims they "never ever ever drink a drop of any kind of ETOH." Even if they are sweating pure vodka they will swear to the day they die, they do not drink.

    It does not happen too often but every once and a while they will have beer/wine in their cart when they make these claims.

    It is usually the college age kids that actually end up asking..."well if I do drink, how many beers can I have?"

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  12. GB, RNJanuary 17, 2010 at 10:20 PM

    Awesome!!

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  13. ndenunzJanuary 18, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    Just curious, but why in the world would you get asked to be a consultant on someone who is obviously drunk? Wouldn't it make more sense to have them sober up and see if any neurological abnormalities correct themselves? Or is it just CYA?

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  14. Grumpy, M.D.January 18, 2010 at 12:22 PM

    CYA.

    I don't order the consults, I just do them.

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  15. Big 'N Tasty RPHJanuary 18, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    Sounds like she had my Friday & Saturday night last weekend.

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  16. AnonymousJanuary 19, 2010 at 5:22 AM

    @ Anon 5:54... I hear ya....

    EVERY time I am called over to counsel a patient on Flagyl, my initial question is met with a horrified look and a response of "Oh my God! NO, I don't DRINK!" NEVER fails. Apparently, Vermont is a dry state. That does little to explain all the bars, liquor stores, and beer aisles in supermarkets in the town I work in.

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  17. Mari-AnnJanuary 19, 2010 at 10:40 AM

    Of course I drink! I couldn't cope with the notion of waking up each morning know that this is the best that I am going to feel all day. Yikes.

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  18. gabbianaJanuary 22, 2010 at 10:43 PM

    (Love.)

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So wadda you think?