The phones have been ringing busily today, and so a few calls went to voice mail. Annie had me listen to this one. She was laughing so hard she ran to the bathroom so she wouldn't wet herself.
"Hi, this is Suzy Frazzled. I'm a social worker involved in the medical case of Kathy Smith. I'm calling to see if you have any records on her. You probably don't, because none of the other doctors on the list she gave me have ever heard of her, either, and I'm on my last damn nerve dealing with her. Anyway, she's blaming every freaking illness she has, like Fibromyalgia, Restless Leg Syndrome, asthma, arthritis, back pain, irritible bowel syndrome, fatigue, fungal bladder infections, and a bunch of other junk, all on a freaking piece of cotton that was left in her ear 2 years ago after she had a glob of wax taken out. She thinks she's won the freaking lottery, apparently. What? No Bob, I don't have that info here. I've been working on Mrs. Smith all damn morning. How come you don't get these? The boss gives me all this shit, and it's not fair. Where the hell do these people come from and why do they always end up on my freaking desk? Why can't I get normal cases? Oh, sorry, hello? Anyway, please call me back and let me know if you've ever heard of this lady and have a happy holidays."
"Where the hell do these people come from and why do they always end up on my freaking desk? Why can't I get normal cases?"
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHA! I've had weeks I felt like that.
Glad the universe spreads the misery out.
LD50 Rat
"Have a holly jolly Christmas, it's the best time of year..."
ReplyDeleteC'mon, Dr. Grumpy, confess...it was YOUR cotton left in her ear...right?!?
ReplyDeleteLottery, indeed.
BWAHahahahahahaha!
>:)
So...have you heard of her?
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeletetrain wreck..
ReplyDeleteAt least we know that EVERYONE in the healthcare industry wants to beat the living crap out of one or two patients!!!
ReplyDeleteI think the majority of the cotton is between her ears.
ReplyDeleteAs a medical social worker who's been reading your blog I think that is hillarious. Not that I would have left that on a phone machine mind you, but I probably would have been thinking it!
ReplyDelete"Where the hell do these people come from and why do they always end up on my freaking desk? Why can't I get normal cases?"
ReplyDeleteI completely empathize (sympathize?) with people like you and this person, who deal with crazy people on a daily basis. My former boss actually quit dentistry because of being the runt in the practice who got all the crazies. She was completely ill-equipped to cope!
Accghh!
ReplyDeleteThis is why I could never be a social worker.
I would burn out quicker than a french fry left in the oven at 500 degrees on a bed of gunpowder.
Sounds like a composite of a good portion of your patients - and the ones I see the ER as well!
ReplyDeletehahahaha!!! too funny!
ReplyDeleteHILARIOUS! I feel for those poor social workers. Being an RN is hard but social work is the pits.
ReplyDeleteOH YEAH.....that could be me.... You either start social work crazy, or end up that way because of the work....
ReplyDeleteSuzy Frazzled is my soul sistah - I feel for her. Once you decide to 'help' people, you automatically become a shit magnet!
ReplyDeletePlease tell Ms Frazzled I send my condolences... Hope she clears all the sh** soon...
ReplyDeleteSue
remind me why I got out of primary care again?!?!
ReplyDeleteGosh, no wonder Suzy is Frazzled...
ReplyDeleteMaybe the patient should just pull out the piece of cotton. Either she will be miraculously cured or her brain will unravel.
Still laughing.
ReplyDeleteI think that's my sister. (not the pharmacist, the other one)(the one we don't talk about).
ReplyDeleteHubby actually had a patient call one time and ask if it was possible to tell if she was faking on her PFTs.
ReplyDelete