Okay, grumpy fans, I learned this today.
Here's another tip for my fellow physicians and anyone else who cares:
No good will EVER come from getting consulted to see a patient who's been in the ICU for 2 weeks before they call you, and who's initial chart note starts with: "Patient is an 81 year old male who attempted to rectally disimpact himself with his toothbrush."
And I'll leave the rest of this sad story to your imagination.
Note to PCP: Prescribe fewer opiates, and teach your patient about Milk & Molasses enema.
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